Turning plans into reality.

 Last week I shared the epiphany I had regarding not purchasing a new house and our decision to make changes to this home in order for it to be better for my parents. We jumped in and got started on things that only need a little financial outlay in order to make them work and the first one was creating a garden for my dad. I got out last week and reworked the stone walls in our garden, removed a stone pathway (a HUGE job), and dug up and replanted the small flowering plants, primarily azaleas, and lantanas. Over the weekend, while Rick was home, we moved the two big plants that we didn't want to end up sacrificing, a bridal wreath and a Rose of Sharon, and Rick dug up grass from the yard area we are converting and used it to fill in areas with dead grass in both the front and backyard. 

While Rick was working in the yard on Sunday he let my dad help a bit with some raking but he was very unsteady on his feet and stumbled a few times. On Monday he felt terrible, complaining of muscle weakness and feeling bad. My hope is that once the actual garden is in and all this heavy work is done my dad will be able to enjoy having a garden but I'm not feeling terribly optimistic right now. He seems to be declining, growing progressively weaker and more fragile all the time. 

Today I took out a long section of an iron border that was buried pretty deep but I couldn't get all of it out today. Later Rick and I will be removing the BIG crepe myrtle tree so his garden gets plenty of sunshine. I've posted a few pics of the work in progress. I wish I had one of them from before I started. I did these part way through.

You can see where I took rocks out of the old border and joined the two gardens. What you cannot see is the big rock path that I completely removed. The crepe myrtle in the foreground is going to come out.

                                            The same day, different angle.

                                            Close-up of the iron border I removed this morning.

                                            The area I have used the roto-tiller on so far.

                                        My bridal wreath hardly shows signs of being transplanted.

                                                   The Rose of Sharon is a bit more droopy.

                                            It is covered with buds, I sure hope they bloom!

These are all the stones I removed. The pathway I took out from the garden looked a bit like the one in the foreground of this photo.

The second thing we did was order blackout shades for the living room. I don't think they will look as nice as the shades we have now but they will make the room significantly darker. The goal is that my parents will spend less time in their bedroom and create a place where they can watch TV and relax. It will unclutter their bedroom and hopefully, they won't be so fall-prone. Once we get these basic things done for their comfort we will start focusing on changes upstairs where Rick, Paul and I spend most of our free time.

Financial Epiphany

This weekend I had a bit of an epiphany. We went to Oklahoma for a wedding (one of the loveliest weddings ever btw) and managed to reconnect with old friends who have moved away from Houston. Becky and Steve are very involved in the financial independence movement and we have known about the work they have done for years, but in a lot of ways what they said just went in one ear and out the other. At least for me. Seeing Becky and Steve again has really been an eye-opener because they do not have the same financial frustrations that we have had. Not because they're so much "richer" than we are, but because they've been focused and managed their money well. Of course, they are richer than we are, but again...because they manage their money well. Anyway, all that to say that spending time with them has allowed us to refocus and reconsider some upcoming decisions we have to make.

Ever since my parents moved in we have been living in our guest room, all our things that were in the very large master closet have been put into upstairs closets with almost no rhyme or reason. Since May 29th my life has just felt incredibly temporary. Would they ever be able to live on their own again? No. Should we sell their house? Yes. Should we sell our house and find something bigger for the now five people who live here? That's been tougher. Our house is 7 years away from being paid off with a loan at less than 3%. The thought of selling my house and buying something BIGGER (when what I really want is something SMALLER) at a loan in the 7-8% range makes me physically ill (and very cranky!!) but we have been planning to do it in order for my parents to be more comfortable. Well....after our weekend away I think we've come to the conclusion that it would be a stupid financial decision and instead we are going to see what changes need to happen here in order for this to be a permanent residence for all five of us. 

My mom and dad spend all their time sitting on recliners in their bedroom, which is overcrowded and that results in fall risks for them. My mom thinks our living area is "too bright". So...curtains are going up in the living room, their big screen TV is going on the wall and we are turning our dining room back into a dining room (a long story about an unsuccessful attempt to create a living space for them) and the living room will be theirs. We are going to convert an upstairs bathtub into a shower and make the needed adjustments to their shower for it to be safer for them. We are going to move a LOT of our things into storage and create an office that functions as my office and a sitting room for us. In the backyard, decorative plants are coming out and we are creating a garden for my dad to enjoy. And the house has to have an alarm system, especially on the windows, but that's a story for a different blog post. 

It sounds like a LOT of stuff but we will use money from the sale of their house to make the changes to our house that are needed for them to be at home here. It feels like it's taken a lot of time for me to reach this point but I do feel like the Lord really used Becky and Steve this weekend to help me. I am so grateful to them and to Him!

The State of Nursing

Where to start...without breaching confidentiality I am going to tell you a few stories and describe what I, as a nurse, perceive to be a HUGE problem going on in my profession and healthcare in general.

 

Story #1. The father of a dear friend passed away recently from COVID and nothing I am going to say here is from personal observation, it was passed on to me by my friend but it is telling and extremely indicative of what is going on right now in every hospital. While he was ill, in the intermediate care unit the nurses were obviously being run ragged. They were busy and overwhelmed but some really minor things simply fell through the cracks. For instance, the nurse was charting that he was independent for ADLs (activities of daily living) and that was true, he could feed himself, use a hand-held urinal and even get up to go to the bathroom with some assistance BUT he was also requiring high levels of oxygen in order to do those things. My friend and her sister, who were NOT allowed in his room to help him (in spite of the fact that they both had either been vaccinated or had themselves had the Covid Delta Variant), observed from a window that the tray was literally left out of his reach and his urinal was on the floor, again out of his reach. Well, if a patient cannot reach his food without extreme effort it is not really being given to him is it? This wasn't unique to them or this facility and in fact leads right in to...

 

Story #2. A dear friend who also had COVID was "nursed" through the most acute phase of the illness and then transferred to a "rehab" facility. I was going to see her and called to ask if I could bring her anything and she asked for Chic-fil-a. So, I stopped and got her some lunch before I went to see her. Since she no longer had active disease, she was allowed a single visitor for a very limited part of the day. When I arrived, she was sitting on the side of the bed wearing an oxygen mask and looking very tired. I gave her the lunch and she pulled off her mask to eat, it seemed to be what she did normally. As she was eating, I noticed that her sats (oxygen saturation level, a tool to measure oxygenation) were dropping, and dropping significantly! I also noticed that she didn't have any other equipment, such as a nasal cannula, to deliver oxygen. I called her nurse to ask if she could be put on a nasal cannula while she ate and the nurse put the mask back on. I asked again about a cannula, which would enable her to eat, and the nurse said that she needed an order for a cannula and would have to call RT (respiratory therapy). Nothing was done for my friend's comfort except putting the mask back on, which she could have done herself, and which then made eating impossible.

 

Story #3. I cannot go into a lot of detail here but I work in an endoscopy unit, the place you go for colonoscopies, esophogastroduodenoscopies, bronchoscopies, and other "scope" procedures. We received a late add-on case of a GI bleed for an elderly woman with dementia who, from what I could tell, came from a nursing home. She was extremely agitated prior to the procedure and I was trying to get her to relax. She wasn't actually my patient but I was doing a very generalized assessment of her. Her skin was dry and flaky, she had what appeared to be dirt on her neck and chest, her hair was sweat-soaked and clinging to her scalp and her lips were dry and cracked but the inside of her mouth was the worst part of this assessment. Her teeth were caked with dark residue at the gums and her tongue was coated with a thick blue substance. It appeared that some type of pill had been put in her mouth and just left there to dissolve. I would be willing to bet any amount of money that she had not had any oral care, meaning teeth brushed (even with just a sponge), for days if not longer.

 

These stories have one primary thing in common, poor care. I understand that nurses are being run ragged. I understand that nurses are overwhelmed and under-staffed. I also understand something else; the real problem is not poor NURSING care; it is no personal/family care! COVID has been used as an excuse to shut families out of the hospital and out of the care of their loved ones. The reality of nursing right now is that we are forced to spend a ridiculous amount of time looking at a computer screen instead of at a person and nurses can barely get through their shifts. I have myself had days when the shift was so bad that I reassured myself with these words: "Well, they got their meds and they're still alive". I have said for years (out loud) that no member of my family would be hospitalized without me there to take care of them, words I had to eat when my own mother had COVID and spent 4 days in the hospital alone, but I have now reached the point where I am not sure I would even want a member of my family to BE hospitalized! My friend in story #1 is a Registered Nurse!!! Imagine how much help she could have been if she had been allowed to stay with her father! The shutting out of families from the care of their loved ones is one of the biggest tragedies of the pandemic. The number of people who have died alone and isolated is a travesty. When the pandemic has passed, the way hospitals, nursing homes and rehab facilities have treated families, and ultimately contributed to the misery and death of those entrusted to their care warrants serious investigation!

MANDATORY

My hospital, which is widely considered the best hospital in Texas (and not just by those of us who work there), is planning to make the COVID-19 vaccine mandatory. I am very upset and frustrated by this decision. It is in essence forcing me to find a new job and a new hospital and the truth is I really love Houston Methodist Hospital. I have no doubt it is the best place to receive care in this city and state but I also am appalled by how little they care for personal autonomy or their own employees. 

Most people are probably saying..."what's wrong with the vaccine?" and the truth is I cannot tell you anything that is wrong with the vaccine. What I can tell you is that it was rushed into production, that it has been forced on the public, especially healthcare personnel, by people I do NOT trust and that the cognitive dissonance surrounding it, especially in relation to women of child-bearing age, pregnancy and breast feeding, make me deeply suspicious of it. 

Choose any medication, and I literally mean ANY medication and look it up in the Physician's Desk Reference, that venerable "book" known as the PDR where many of us in healthcare get information about the drugs we give. When you look up the drug that came to your mind there is a 99% probability that when you get to the information section titled Pregnancy it will start with the sentence "Adequate and well-controlled studies have not been performed in women receiving ______________ during pregnancy". Among healthcare professionals this is a widely known fact and yet the advice pregnant women are getting across the board is "take the vaccine". The American College of Obstetrics & Gynecology (ACOG) recommends that women who are pregnant get the vaccine in spite of the fact that their own website states...

Available Safety Information Related to the use of COVID-19 Vaccines in Pregnancy

Despite ACOG’s persistent advocacy for the inclusion of pregnant individuals in COVID-19 vaccine trials, none of the COVID-19 vaccines approved under EUA have been tested in pregnant individuals. However, studies in pregnant women have begun or are planned.    Retrieved 4/13/21 from https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/practice-advisory/articles/2020/12/vaccinating-pregnant-and-lactating-patients-against-covid-19

I understand that Covid is real, I'm not denying that. I understand that for those who are at high risk for developing complications contracting it has the potential to be deadly. I also understand risk assessment, and personal responsibility. I am speaking as an individual here...my own risk is low and I am more than happy to be responsible for myself. I do not like being forced to take a vaccine that has only been approved using an EUA (Emergency Use Authorization). I think it is immoral, unethical and unAmerican! Houston Methodist Hospital should be ashamed of themselves.

BEING A CONSERVATIVE

I've been thinking a lot lately about the differences, both actual and perceived, between liberals (or as they are now known, progressives) and conservatives.  Part of what got me thinking was an email from a friend who is very liberal. Her opinions and mine differ on many, many levels but the email had absolutely nothing to do with politics.  It was the FACT of the email that got me thinking about how our political opinions color our beliefs and actions.  Here's the backstory.  She's a wonderful person, a loving mother and someone who truly believes that the answer to America's problems lie within the policies of the Democrat party. She supported Obama and thinks the answer to issues is more government involvement, not less.  She supports gun control, abortion and unlimited immigration.  She thinks homosexuals should have the right to get married.  In other words there probably isn't a single political issue that we agree on.  On the surface you would really think that she is a "live and let live" kind of person, which is the impression most liberals give...on the surface.  But the reality is that she, like most liberals, is actually eager to tell others how to live.  Here's where I'm coming from.  Like I said at the beginning, she's a wonderful person and a loving mother.  Because I've always considered her a great mom I forwarded her a stupid e-mail chain letter about being a great mom.  Now here's the background.  I RARELY forward emails, whenever they have one of those stupid paragraphs about the rewards you get for forwarding the email (you know the ones I mean..."in 15 minutes something great will happen to you") I edit those lines out and remove all references that would identify it as a "chain-letter" and then forward it but even then it's something I hardly ever do.  But in this case I got the email, liked the general sentiment and went ahead and forwarded it en toto to several women I consider to be particularly good mothers.  Of all the women I chose this friend was actually the only liberal in the bunch, I tend to fly with my own flock if you know what I mean. Several of them sent it back to me as instructed in the email, several more ignored it but she, and only she, sent me back a sweetly worded reprimand for forwarding the email in the first place.  Here's what she wrote..."You are a great mother and getting prettier by the day. (the start of the letter) But I don't do chain letters.  Mostly because it seems to annoy more people than please them.  No spirit of fun!  But I do appreciate your thinking of me."  I have to admit that reply really bugged me, and yet as I re-read it I'm not sure why it bothered me so much.  She actually took the time to reply (in other words to let me know she'd gotten it) and yet at the same time to make it clear she didn't want to receive any more.  My own tendency when I get an annoying letter is to just ignore it but she went to the trouble of making her feelings known.  I think I can learn a lot from her.  My initial reaction to her email was to be upset that she didn't just accept it in the spirit in which it was intended but now I think she was probably right to make her feelings about it known in a tactful way.  Thus...the drawn out explanation for this blog, making my feelings known about the issues that matter the most to me as a conservative in the order in which they matter to me.  I'm not saying this is the correct order of importance on these issues.  Merely that this is the order in which I care about them.

BIG GOVERNMENT: I'm putting this first because I think it is the root cause of so many of our problems.  When America had small government it flourished and grew,as the federal government got bigger our growth was stymied.  I believe, as a conservative, that the only proper job of federal government is national security.  The writers of the U.S. Constitution stated that their purpose was to "establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for common defense, promote general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty".  I think the words "general welfare" are particularly meaningful, it isn't to specifically provide for people, merely to create the environment (one of safety and liberty) that would enable them to provide for their own welfare.  I think that above anything else our elected officials need to support the constitution.  The Constitution was written specifically to limit government, to make sure it didn't get too involved in people's lives.  When a congress or president support or enact policy that specifically goes against what the Constitution says then they are acting in a way that is unconstitutional and treasonous.  Article 1, Section 1. of the Constitution says that ALL legislative powers shall be vested in the Congress of the United States...so obviously when legislation comes from the Supreme Court or the President it is UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!  Furthermore, the 12th article of the Bill of Rights says "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." In other words...small government, State government, LOCAL government.  Not national or federal.  LIMIT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!

FREEDOM OF RELIGION: The first article of the Bill of Rights says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble"  when the Federal government enacts laws that require people to provide services that prohibit the exercise of their religion then they are in direct opposition to the Constitution, when the government tries to prohibit peaceful assembly they are in direct opposition to the Constitution. Christians believe that abortion is murder, Christians believe that marriage is "an institution established by God" when you require them to support those things that are in direct opposition to their Christian faith you are prohibiting the free exercise of their religion which is UNCONSTITUTIONAL! The solution is to not mandate policy or use Federal funds for social issues.  Any government involvement in those issues should be determined at the local level.

RIGHT TO LIFE: This is way up there on my list of issues because it is an important one to me personally. I believe that those who are strong and able have a responsibility to protect those who are weak and vulnerable and in my opinion the two times of life when people are the most weak and vulnerable are at the beginning and the end of their lives. No one is more vulnerable than a child in the womb and it is my belief that our founding fathers would have found it absolutely inconceivable that the unborn would need our protection. If they could have foreseen that this country would reach a point where more than 46 MILLION babies have been aborted (https://nationaleconomicseditorial.com/2017/04/15/abortion-facts-and-statistics/) I have to think they would have thrown up their hands and said "what's the point of any of this?". Of course that's just my personal opinion. How is it possible that one of the biggest problems in the land of the free and the home of the brave would be that mothers are killing their own children? I could actually write on this particular subject for hours but am going to stop here. Conservatives believe in conservation, conserving our liberty, conserving our Constitution, conserving the lives of our people. It is almost as important to conserve the lives of the elderly as those of the unborn. Efforts to enable people to "die with dignity" have resulted in a culture of death and in my opinion the appropriate name for the Progressive movement is the movement of death. Their goal is to kill those they feel are unworthy of life...does that remind anyone else of another socialist regime?

GUN CONTROL: The second article in the Bill of Rights says "The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed".  I think that is pretty straightforward!  We as citizens have a right to own firearms.  It's right there in the constitution. Anything that infringes upon our right to bear arms is UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!

IMMIGRATION: I am all for immigration.  My husband's great-grandfather came here from Italy, my ancestors mostly immigrated from the British isles (England, Ireland and Scotland with some  native Americans in there for good measure) but they ALL immigrated here legally.  It is illegal immigration that is a problem and more than that it is the change in attitude on the part of new immigrants that has led to so much frustration with this particular issue.  It used to be that people immigrated to the United States in order to work and build a better life for themselves and their descendants.  They did not arrive here expecting the government to provide for them and that is the biggest problem with today's immigrants. Again, going back to the Constitution the only thing the federal government needs to provide is the environment for someone to provide for themselves.  I'll write more tomorrow because I have to go and I've only scratched the surface on why I'm a conservative..but there it is so far.

Well, in the words of the Garth Brooks song..."If tomorrow never comes..." I wrote this blog so long ago that I no longer even remember when I started it but today seemed like a good day to finish it. On rereading I realized that there is a lot more to say but I think I will do that later. For now I'm going to post and if anyone is interested in my unsolicited ramblings I would love to hear their comments.

Coffee Memories

This is a very, very old coffee cup and there IS a story behind it.  When I was a little girl we didn't live in Oklahoma where most of the family lived.  We did a lot of traveling around until I got into 4th grade and then we settled in Texas where I have lived most of my life.  For us 'vacation' meant going to visit our grandparents in Konawa, Oklahoma.  Konawa is one of those little don't blink or you'll miss it towns and it was about a 7 hour drive from our home in the Clear Lake area of Houston.  We would usually arrive late at night (having left after my dad's work day) and go straight to bed while my mom sat up talking to her mom and my Uncle Marshall.  Most of my mom's 9 brothers and sisters lived in Oklahoma and several within a half hour drive from Konawa so in the morning when we woke up my Grandma would make breakfast and people would start dropping in.  Some because they had heard we were visiting and some because that was their normal routine.  The two I remember most clearly were my Uncle Jack and my Uncle Dean.  Both lived nearby and I think they made stopping in at Grandma's for breakfast a pretty regular part of their day.  See, my Grandma had been a widow since she was 59 years old, she lived in a little house in Konawa with my Uncle Marshall (Mart) who had never married and I think in retrospect that her sons were always a bit protective of her.  Anyway she used these coffee cups every day of her life (at least her life after I knew her) and whenever I hear the words "cup of coffee" this is the cup I picture the coffee being in.  She ate eggs with raw onions and homemade biscuits and made her coffee in a white percolator on the stovetop.  (no one had even heard of an electric coffee maker) She spent a lot of time jumping up and down to add things to the table as people came and left but her seat was always at the end and her coffee cup was always sitting there at her place.  Coffee was a big deal, a real sign of adulthood and you had to be "grown-up" enough to drink coffee, at least according to my parents.  (My cousins Larry and Randy drank coffee with the grown-ups and I deeply resented it but their dad said it was okay!)  When my Grandma went into a nursing home I was part of the group of people who cleaned out her little house and as her belongings were claimed by different family members I asked if I could have the coffee cups.  I recently unpacked them from the last of our many moves and set them up at my coffee maker. The contrast between her mornings and mine made me laugh.  I'm the only coffee drinker in my house so I'm into the Keurig, individual cup thing and I do like my Starbucks but there's something really special, nostalgic and familiar about coffee in this cup!

A Secular Christian

I just reread this blogpost and have to warn you it is truly a ramble!

A couple of days ago I was listening to one of my favorite Bible teachers, Alistair Begg, and he used a term that I am very familiar with but about which I hadn't really given much thought...secular Jews.  I knew immediately what he meant by the term, someone who was born Jewish but doesn't really practice the Jewish faith.  I assume that secular Jews observe the High Holy Days of Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah, maybe even attend a Passover Seder, but overall their life is not really influenced by the Jewish faith although it may be greatly influenced by the Jewish race.  Dr. Begg stated in his sermon that they are a people, secular Jews that is, who make him feel particularly sad because in many ways they cling to an identity that they don't truly believe in.  I completely understand his feelings in that regard but it got me to thinking about the idea of secular Christians.  Can there BE secular Christians?  Christianity isn't a race the way Judaism is.  You aren't born a Christian and there are no DNA tests that can effectively label you a Christian as there are in Judaism. Christianity is a choice a person makes to follow Jesus Christ but we do often refer to being "born into a Christian home" as though it is something inherited.

*side note   I was fascinated a few years ago by an article I read where researchers had found DNA markers among Jewish people with the last name Cohen that proved conclusively that they had a common ancestor no matter what part of the world they were from!

People who are truly Christian universally recognize their Christianity as a faith based on the belief in the atoning work of Jesus when He died on the cross and was raised to life. But did you notice that little word "truly".  There are many, many people out there who believe they are Christians and yet at the same time believe that they will get into heaven based on the fact that they've been a "good person".  They think of God as a benevolent guide who they can come to when they THINK they need Him and basically ignore Him the rest of the time. They have no real understanding of who God is, what Jesus did and how it actually relates to them.  They observe the high holy days of Christmas and Easter (and even the occasional Good Friday) but on a daily basis Jesus has no place in their lives.  I think they are secular Christians.  Their lives are focused on this world (the secular) and they identify themselves as Christians. Are they saved?  Are they truly Christians?  I know that they are the hardest people in the world to witness to because they believe they already have the answer; and the truth is they do KNOW the answer, they just don't BELIEVE the answer.  They want to add to what Jesus has done and think it depends on themselves rather than him.  Are they saved?  I don't know, I honestly don't. BUT...I'm afraid they may not be.

My son Stephen pointed out something interesting to me a few months ago and I've thought about it a lot.  Jesus loved sinners...prostitutes, the possessed, tax collectors, liars, thieves and murderers.  The people He opposed most were the religious leaders of His time because they didn't think they WERE sinners!!!!  Many, many people in today's world want to believe that Jesus had a thing against religious leaders, that's not it!  He had a thing against unrepentant sinners.  The people who thought they were good enough, the ones who felt like they didn't need Him and that their sins weren't all that bad.  Those were the people he was opposing.  In the story of the prodigal sons He was talking to sinners AND Pharisees!  Those who recognized themselves in the profligate younger son, who realized they were sinners and needed Him AND those who should have seen themselves in the self-righteous older son who, as far as we know,  never recognized his own shortcomings or his need for redemption.  I am so afraid that many, many people who believe themselves to be Christians are not.

In many ways it is like another thing I struggle with, people who identify themselves as Christian and yet live in a repeated and perpetual state of sin.  How can you be repentant if you repeat your sin daily, revel in it or take "pride" in it?  I'm not saying Christians are sinless, merely that they are aware of their sin and repent of it, that they struggle with conquering it and rely on God to help them deal with it.  When you embrace your sin are you repenting of it?  (Sorry that's a rabbit trail from today's thought but one that I often go down.)

How are we supposed to reach them? I think the first step is to return to talking about sin, defining it and recognizing that we are ALL sinners.  I'm afraid that the current trend to avoid telling people they are sinners is resulting in a huge number of unsaved Christians, secular Christians and people who are not truly Christians. Without an understanding of God's perfect standard, our inability to meet it, and the fact that we are all sinners from birth we cannot understand the need for Jesus atoning life, death and resurrection.