DUH!

It's four in the morning and I wish I had something profound to blog about but I simply don't. I'm very pleased with how well Stephen is recovering but there's simply no way to feel good when you're watching your child hurting.

When Paul was 18 months old he ended up in the Texas Children's ER. The story's too long to go into here but the main point of it is that he had to have an IV and he's an incredibly difficult kid to stick. The nurses at TCH stuck him a total of 13 times, trying to get his line in and at one point as we were waiting for yet another person to give it a try Rick and I were sitting in the room. The lights were out, it was the middle of the night and Rick had fallen asleep. I was sitting on the stretcher holding the baby and praying that whoever they were bringing THIS time would be able to get the IV in and I was crying. I remember looking up at the ceiling where they had put glow in the dark stars and I remember saying these words to God. "Do you know what it feels like to watch your child suffer" and I swear to you that I heard God say "DUH!".

Sometimes we (or more accurately I) lose track of what Jesus really did for us when He died on the cross. It wasn't a quick process and it had to have hurt his Father so much! I know that if I could take Stephen's place I'd do it in a heartbeat and that thought leads to another one. The reason Stephen is going through this right now is that we (and he) realize that he'd be in much worse shape later if he didn't take care of this back problem now. We didn't want him to have a limited future because of chronic back pain. God did the same thing...he realized that Jesus suffering was necessary to ensure a better future..in fact the ultimate future...for his children. The future He was saving goes on for all eternity!

Sometimes when I am sitting in this darkened hospital room watching my son hurting I realize that as much as I love Stephen it's a dark image of how God feels about His children. I read news stories and see pictures of parents crying over their suffering children throughout the world and I'm just awed by how huge our God is. To Him all those people are individuals, not photos. He knows the hearts of every single one of them! How huge is He! How completely beyond our ability to appreciate!