I've had two interesting experiences in the past few weeks, and both concerned my car. The first occurred after Thanksgiving but before the Christmas rush really got started. It needs a little explaining...
I often wake up very early, particularly on weekends and sometimes when I do I just head over to the grocery store to get my shopping done before they're busy. Well on a Saturday morning recently this happened, I was awake around 4 a.m. so I decided to get my shopping done while Rick and the boys were still asleep. Because I had some non-grocery items on my list I went to Wal-Mart rather than Krogers (which is my normal place to shop). After I had finished getting my groceries I headed out to the parking lot, talking to Rick on the phone. (He had awakened and was wondering where I was) I approached my car and next to it was a middle-aged black man loading his own car. He gave me a very odd look but since I don't normally talk with strangers in parking lots I nodded at him and proceeded to load my things into the trunk of my car, still talking to Rick on the phone. The man got into his own car and drove off while I was loading. As I approached the driver's side of my car I saw something all over the driver's side door. I told Rick "I think someone threw up on my car" but as I looked closer I realized it was egg. Someone had egged my car! Quite recently too, as the egg was still running down the door and was completely wet. I came to the obvious conclusion, the man who I had just seen had apparently thrown at least two eggs at my car door. He wasn't a kid! I'm 46 years old and he was probably my age or a few years older! But, something you need to know is I still have my McCain/Palin stickers on the bumper of my car. It's pretty obvious that this man was somehow offended by my bumper stickers. That was number one, it continues!
Last week I was driving on FM 1960 and a large Suburban-type vehicle forced it's way in front of me and into the next lane of traffic. The traffic was atrocious as we were in a construction zone, near a busy intersection, just a day or two before Christmas and I didn't really think much of it. Anyway, my own lane moved forward more quickly but was about to disappear and I needed to move over into the next lane. The car that had just cut me off was slightly behind me and I tried to move into the lane in front of it. This woman (a black woman) gunned her engine, refusing to let me over and then looked over at me and with a HUGE smile on her face proceeded to give me the finger! Now, I did not get upset when she cut me off before, hadn't made any gestures or faces at her or been rude in any way so I was momentarily at a loss. Then....I remembered my bumper stickers. Oops! Someone else who belongs among the always ready to be offended!
What I find very interesting about these two incidents is the apparent belief on the part of some who voted for Obama that others don't have the same rights of free speech as they do. I'm not sure exactly WHERE they are coming from? Do they honestly believe that anyone who doesn't agree with them is automatically racist? Are they offended by free speech in the form of bumper stickers? Do they really think that not supporting a candidate is the same as not supporting a president or do they just not bother to think at all??? Is this an example of Obama supporters? I'm aware that Obama hung out with thugs in the Chicago machine, I just didn't realize how many thugs were part of his support base among ordinary people? I've heard of sore losers...but sore winners?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Things I know!
This morning I was praying for some friends in Singapore. Kelly was a member of my Breaking Free Bible study last year and one of those people who are so bright and enthusiastic that I would often find myself thinking “maybe she should be leading this study instead of me”. In March of this year Kelly’s little girl Jillian was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney and she found herself in the position of being the mother of a terribly ill child. Jillian went in for further testing and before we knew it she had undergone an eleven hour surgery to remove the tumor and her kidney. Then the slow and painful process of chemotherapy started. Kelly of course couldn’t continue in Bible study but we stayed in touch through e-mails and an incredible website called Caring Bridge that allows people going through crisis illness/loss to keep friends and family posted on the situation without having to address everyone individually. (My friend Martha told me about it and I passed the information on to Kelly) Anyway, today is November 17, 2008 and Jillian and her family have been living with cancer now for eight months. Jillian’s condition is progressively worsening. She’s been in the ICU for more than a week now and a few days ago, with her blood pressure dropping and her remaining kidney having failed the doctor’s took Kelly and her husband Jon aside to let them know the end was probably near and they needed to make some decisions about what to do for Jillian. Jillian is three.
That’s the background information.
This morning I was praying and I found myself telling God “I know you have a purpose but I just don’t get you”. Why would it be so hard? How can this little girl and her family’s intense suffering end in good? It brought me back to a time in my own life when the suffering of someone else made a profound impact on me. In December of 1998 I was pregnant and so was a good friend, Jody. I had a miscarriage about 8 weeks into my pregnancy but Jody was doing well and I was a little depressed. Since I’d already had two children I was not as affected by miscarriage as many women are and as a nurse I knew that pregnancies that end that early often do so because of a major malformation.
I will always remember where I was when I heard the news about Jody’s baby. Our small fellowship group was having a little Christmas get together and someone asked me if I’d heard about Jody’s baby. I of course had no idea what they were talking about and that’s when I discovered that Jody’s baby had been diagnosed as anencephalic. For those unfamiliar with anencephaly it is a condition where the brain above the brain stem does not develop in the fetus and in fact sometimes the top of the head itself doesn’t develop at all. In medical lingo it is “incompatible with life”. Jody and her husband David made the incredibly difficult decision to carry their baby, who they named Emily, to term. They felt strongly that abortion is always wrong and decided that they would leave the situation in God’s hands.
I admired them for being so strong but I thought they were wrong. I had not been pro-life for very long but I believed that there are situations where abortion is an appropriate choice and I felt like anencephaly was one of them. I was talking about David and Jody’s situation with my friend Martha who had actually been the one to change my position on the abortion issue (I’ll tell that story another time). I was going on about how I felt like David and Jody were putting themselves through unnecessary grief and Martha said something I’ll always remember. She said “but Lorri, don’t you think to have an abortion would rob God of the opportunity of performing a miracle?” It was an interesting perspective and one I would never have thought of. The more I considered what Martha said the more I thought that she might actually be right. She went on to say that she wasn’t saying God would perform a miracle merely that it is not our job to interfere, that he has a purpose. After talking to Martha my entire attitude to Jody’s pregnancy changed. Rick and I talked about all that they were going through and it had an incredible impact on our lives. We got closer to Jody and David, spent time with them and in many ways learned from them. Emily died within a few minutes of her birth and even through their heartbreak you could tell that Jody and David just hung on to God and his promises to them. Emily was buried in a special cemetery for babies, it is situated under a GIANT live oak tree and the limbs of the tree are full of wind chimes. Whenever you go to her grave you can hear the tinkling of wind chimes all around you. It’s a beautiful place. Emily was born in January of 1999 and a little while later Jody got pregnant again. So did I. Eighteen weeks into my pregnancy I discovered that my baby had a congenital heart defect and Down syndrome, at twenty-eight weeks they told us about his pulmonary hypoplasia and gave us the news that he probably wouldn’t survive more than 24 hours. We were offered an abortion repeatedly but I have to tell you that one of the reasons I refused, and the main reason Rick refused, was the example we’d been set by Jody and David. Rick has often said that he could never have found the strength to endure those months if he hadn’t watched Jody and David go through what they’d been through. Their faith and courage meant so much more than they can ever know and I firmly believe that if it hadn’t been for Emily, Paul may not ever have been born!
This morning I was praying for Kelly, Jon and Jillian and I found myself telling God “I know you have a purpose but I don’t see it”. I wonder if Jody prayed that same prayer? I don’t believe that God let Emily die so Paul could live, I don’t want there to be any confusion on that issue. EVERY life is precious to God. But I do believe that God took the suffering of Jody and David and used it for good. I believe that one of the purposes of Emily’s short life was to save Paul from his own parents. Jesus said “in this world you will have trouble but I have overcome the world”. I know that is true just like I know that once you’ve given your life to God you’ve given him the authority and right to do what he likes with it; to achieve his purposes through you. I know from reading Caring Bridge that Kelly and Jon have been a light pointing people to God right there in the ICU of NUS hospital in Singapore. I know that they trust God with Jillian and I know that as hard as this time is to endure they will look back at it (irregardless of the outcome and don’t get me wrong, I’m still praying for a miracle) and recognize God’s hand. They will see that He had a plan all along and they will have been a light to someone else the way Jody and David were a light to us.
Praise God!
That’s the background information.
This morning I was praying and I found myself telling God “I know you have a purpose but I just don’t get you”. Why would it be so hard? How can this little girl and her family’s intense suffering end in good? It brought me back to a time in my own life when the suffering of someone else made a profound impact on me. In December of 1998 I was pregnant and so was a good friend, Jody. I had a miscarriage about 8 weeks into my pregnancy but Jody was doing well and I was a little depressed. Since I’d already had two children I was not as affected by miscarriage as many women are and as a nurse I knew that pregnancies that end that early often do so because of a major malformation.
I will always remember where I was when I heard the news about Jody’s baby. Our small fellowship group was having a little Christmas get together and someone asked me if I’d heard about Jody’s baby. I of course had no idea what they were talking about and that’s when I discovered that Jody’s baby had been diagnosed as anencephalic. For those unfamiliar with anencephaly it is a condition where the brain above the brain stem does not develop in the fetus and in fact sometimes the top of the head itself doesn’t develop at all. In medical lingo it is “incompatible with life”. Jody and her husband David made the incredibly difficult decision to carry their baby, who they named Emily, to term. They felt strongly that abortion is always wrong and decided that they would leave the situation in God’s hands.
I admired them for being so strong but I thought they were wrong. I had not been pro-life for very long but I believed that there are situations where abortion is an appropriate choice and I felt like anencephaly was one of them. I was talking about David and Jody’s situation with my friend Martha who had actually been the one to change my position on the abortion issue (I’ll tell that story another time). I was going on about how I felt like David and Jody were putting themselves through unnecessary grief and Martha said something I’ll always remember. She said “but Lorri, don’t you think to have an abortion would rob God of the opportunity of performing a miracle?” It was an interesting perspective and one I would never have thought of. The more I considered what Martha said the more I thought that she might actually be right. She went on to say that she wasn’t saying God would perform a miracle merely that it is not our job to interfere, that he has a purpose. After talking to Martha my entire attitude to Jody’s pregnancy changed. Rick and I talked about all that they were going through and it had an incredible impact on our lives. We got closer to Jody and David, spent time with them and in many ways learned from them. Emily died within a few minutes of her birth and even through their heartbreak you could tell that Jody and David just hung on to God and his promises to them. Emily was buried in a special cemetery for babies, it is situated under a GIANT live oak tree and the limbs of the tree are full of wind chimes. Whenever you go to her grave you can hear the tinkling of wind chimes all around you. It’s a beautiful place. Emily was born in January of 1999 and a little while later Jody got pregnant again. So did I. Eighteen weeks into my pregnancy I discovered that my baby had a congenital heart defect and Down syndrome, at twenty-eight weeks they told us about his pulmonary hypoplasia and gave us the news that he probably wouldn’t survive more than 24 hours. We were offered an abortion repeatedly but I have to tell you that one of the reasons I refused, and the main reason Rick refused, was the example we’d been set by Jody and David. Rick has often said that he could never have found the strength to endure those months if he hadn’t watched Jody and David go through what they’d been through. Their faith and courage meant so much more than they can ever know and I firmly believe that if it hadn’t been for Emily, Paul may not ever have been born!
This morning I was praying for Kelly, Jon and Jillian and I found myself telling God “I know you have a purpose but I don’t see it”. I wonder if Jody prayed that same prayer? I don’t believe that God let Emily die so Paul could live, I don’t want there to be any confusion on that issue. EVERY life is precious to God. But I do believe that God took the suffering of Jody and David and used it for good. I believe that one of the purposes of Emily’s short life was to save Paul from his own parents. Jesus said “in this world you will have trouble but I have overcome the world”. I know that is true just like I know that once you’ve given your life to God you’ve given him the authority and right to do what he likes with it; to achieve his purposes through you. I know from reading Caring Bridge that Kelly and Jon have been a light pointing people to God right there in the ICU of NUS hospital in Singapore. I know that they trust God with Jillian and I know that as hard as this time is to endure they will look back at it (irregardless of the outcome and don’t get me wrong, I’m still praying for a miracle) and recognize God’s hand. They will see that He had a plan all along and they will have been a light to someone else the way Jody and David were a light to us.
Praise God!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Always learning...
I've spent the time since the election alternating between feelings of hopelessness and fatalism. Last night and this morning I've begun to recognize an opportunity to (in the words of Beth Moore) "show" Christian character.
For years I've been frustrated and irritated at people who spend all their time abusing and criticizing President Bush. I've decided I am not going to be one of those people during the term of President Obama. Don't get me wrong...I am going to actively work on getting a pro-life, pro-family president into the White House in 2012 because that is my right as a citizen of the United States. What I'm not going to do is be constantly down on our new president.
Was he my choice? No. Does he believe what I believe? No. Does he deserve my prayers, support and allegiance? Yes.
BTW, I didn't write more of what Beth Moore wrote because it's so much better to read it in her own words. Here's the link to her blog...check out House United
For years I've been frustrated and irritated at people who spend all their time abusing and criticizing President Bush. I've decided I am not going to be one of those people during the term of President Obama. Don't get me wrong...I am going to actively work on getting a pro-life, pro-family president into the White House in 2012 because that is my right as a citizen of the United States. What I'm not going to do is be constantly down on our new president.
Was he my choice? No. Does he believe what I believe? No. Does he deserve my prayers, support and allegiance? Yes.
BTW, I didn't write more of what Beth Moore wrote because it's so much better to read it in her own words. Here's the link to her blog...check out House United
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Question for Christian Democrats
This is a request for information, it is meant in total and perfect honesty and I would really like to know what some people have to say. Believe it or not I do have some Christian friends who are Democrats. (Please note that I did not put the word Christian in quotation marks) Their Christianity is not in question. I know that they know Jesus as their savior. Here's my question...How can a Christian support the political party that is in favor of the murder of unborn children, gay marriage and the "redistribution of wealth"? Above and beyond anything else, the Democratic party has been the party that has done more to support the things that harm our culture (particularly our families) than any other organization.
If a Christian says he chose to vote Democrat because of the economy, is he/she saying that having enough money in their own wallet is more important to them than the lives of the unborn??? Proverbs 6:16-19 lists the things that God hates as "haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brother." A bad economy doesn't make it onto the list.
If a Christian says he voted Democrat because of the war in Iraq is he/she saying that the freedom of other people in the world is not as important as that of Americans?
If a Christian says he voted Democrat because he believes in the redistribution of wealth is he/she saying that he disagrees with the Apostle Paul who said "For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either. For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all" 2 Thes. 3:10-11 and instead supports socialism?
If a Christian says he voted Democrat because he believes that homosexual partners should have the same right to marry as heterosexuals, is he/she saying that he does not believe in the Biblical definition of marriage from Genesis "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24.
I am honestly interested in how Christians can bring themselves to support the Democratic party.
If a Christian says he chose to vote Democrat because of the economy, is he/she saying that having enough money in their own wallet is more important to them than the lives of the unborn??? Proverbs 6:16-19 lists the things that God hates as "haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brother." A bad economy doesn't make it onto the list.
If a Christian says he voted Democrat because of the war in Iraq is he/she saying that the freedom of other people in the world is not as important as that of Americans?
If a Christian says he voted Democrat because he believes in the redistribution of wealth is he/she saying that he disagrees with the Apostle Paul who said "For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either. For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all" 2 Thes. 3:10-11 and instead supports socialism?
If a Christian says he voted Democrat because he believes that homosexual partners should have the same right to marry as heterosexuals, is he/she saying that he does not believe in the Biblical definition of marriage from Genesis "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24.
I am honestly interested in how Christians can bring themselves to support the Democratic party.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Halloween 2008
This is Paul's second year to really 'get' Halloween! He went trick-or-treating last year as a clown with Hannah Moore (who was dressed as a flapper but he was convinced she was actually a princess).
This year he got big sister Chelsea to take him. He was Captain Hook and she was Wendy! Hope you like the photos.
Friday, October 31, 2008
You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet!
Today's Drudge Report leads with an interesting story entitled "Skeptical Reporters Tossed Off Obama Plane" and one of the articles starts with the line "Al Queda wants Bush, Republicans humiliated...". This month's Reader's Digest has a cover story about the '08 Election titled "The World is Watching" and it goes into some detail about global polls that overwhelmingly show that the rest of the world think we should elect Barack Obama. Doesn't this say anything to ANYONE!!! If the rest of the world wants Obama elected that is because he is NOT the best choice for America! Trust me on this, I just recently came back to the U.S.A. after 4 1/2 years in Southeast Asia and the rest of the world does NOT have the best interests of America at heart. They want to live here, they want our business, they want our freedom but those desires are rooted in envy. We should be terribly alarmed about the blatant way Obama is willing to punish the members of the press that don't agree with him. All the reporters that were kicked off Obama's campaign plane were from papers that endorsed John McCain, The NY Post, Dallas Morning News, and Washington Times. I think we need to recognize what a truly dangerous person Barack Obama is. If you thought the Clinton's used the power of the White House in inappropriate ways...you ain't seen nothin' yet!
Monday, October 27, 2008
What can we honestly expect???
Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart. Now this isn't an occasional thing for me, I probably go to Wal-Mart at least twice a week, but yesterday I was just killing time wandering around Wal-Mart. I was actually supposed to be going to Home Depot but Paul had asked me very sweetly for a Batman toy so I decided to run into Wal-Mart first and find one. As usually happens to me when I get to Wal-Mart I ended up looking through the video section and I noticed something very interesting. While I was walking down the aisle with all the little children's videos, the Classic Disney, multiple episodes of Barney, Dora the Explorer and all the lesser offerings (you know the straight to video cartoons and rip-offs of Disney with really BAD animation), well...I glanced over to the other side of the aisle. It was filled, and I do mean FILLED, with the most grotesque and lurid videos and video covers that you can imagine. Envision the goriest scene from Friday the 13th and then picture it on the front cover of about 100 DVD cases. Right there, at EYE level, across from the DVDs created for our youngest children.
Anyway, after this dawned on me I stopped and really looked around. The video department was full of people of all ages looking at these DVDs, they're BIG sellers (and yes, I do realize it's less than a week until Halloween). At the end of the aisle was an endcap with some "classic" horror movies and a woman with her child who appeared to be in the 6-8 age range trying to decide on a DVD. She was holding two cases and he was letting her know he preferred Freddy VS Jason.
I thought seriously about talking to the manager, pointing out how inappropriate their displays are but I have to admit I heard myself thinking "what's the point?" I didn't do or say anything and I'm really very ashamed of that fact.
Actually, that's not quite true. I did do one thing...I had picked up a movie for Paul. He loves the movie Zathura and our copy is quite scratched. Wal-Mart had it for $7.50 so I was carrying it around with me and as I looked down at the movie in my hand I remembered some things Rick had said. He was talking about the children in the movie, they are unpleasant and foul-mouthed in a PG kind of way. He was pointing out that nothing they say is positive or edifying and they are full of anger, albeit in an innocuous kind of way. He concluded with "they're just such unpleasant people, I really don't want to watch them". I walked over and put it back. Do I really need to have my little boy watching things like that? I believe very strongly in the concept of the slippery slope and I've applied it to a lot of things in my life but movies and TV shows are one area where I don't always think about it. Do the rude children of Zathura eventually become the crazed killers of Scream? Does the flippant treatment of sex and sexuality in Friends and Desperate Housewives deteriorate into Sex and the City and eventually hard core pornography?
I see a connection, I see a slippery slope and it's one I intend to start dealing with in my own home...then I'll take on the rest of the country, beginning with Wal-Mart!
Anyway, after this dawned on me I stopped and really looked around. The video department was full of people of all ages looking at these DVDs, they're BIG sellers (and yes, I do realize it's less than a week until Halloween). At the end of the aisle was an endcap with some "classic" horror movies and a woman with her child who appeared to be in the 6-8 age range trying to decide on a DVD. She was holding two cases and he was letting her know he preferred Freddy VS Jason.
I thought seriously about talking to the manager, pointing out how inappropriate their displays are but I have to admit I heard myself thinking "what's the point?" I didn't do or say anything and I'm really very ashamed of that fact.
Actually, that's not quite true. I did do one thing...I had picked up a movie for Paul. He loves the movie Zathura and our copy is quite scratched. Wal-Mart had it for $7.50 so I was carrying it around with me and as I looked down at the movie in my hand I remembered some things Rick had said. He was talking about the children in the movie, they are unpleasant and foul-mouthed in a PG kind of way. He was pointing out that nothing they say is positive or edifying and they are full of anger, albeit in an innocuous kind of way. He concluded with "they're just such unpleasant people, I really don't want to watch them". I walked over and put it back. Do I really need to have my little boy watching things like that? I believe very strongly in the concept of the slippery slope and I've applied it to a lot of things in my life but movies and TV shows are one area where I don't always think about it. Do the rude children of Zathura eventually become the crazed killers of Scream? Does the flippant treatment of sex and sexuality in Friends and Desperate Housewives deteriorate into Sex and the City and eventually hard core pornography?
I see a connection, I see a slippery slope and it's one I intend to start dealing with in my own home...then I'll take on the rest of the country, beginning with Wal-Mart!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Surviving Ike!
Buying a house has been one trauma after another but Ike definitely topped them all! We moved back to Houston on July 1st, then Rick and Stephen left for their Philmont trip (already discussed in an earlier post) and were gone until the third week in July so house-hunting couldn't really begin in earnest until then.
We finally found a house in mid-August and closed within fourteen days but the sellers wouldn't move out before closing. I can't really blame them as they were frightened by the number of closings that have failed. Anyway, after they moved out we finally were able to get into the house to clean and paint. The house didn't LOOK dirty but it was filthy. They had 3 cats and a dog and the place had a distinct litter box smell that we couldn't seem to get rid of. After having the carpets cleaned once, and enzyme treated twice we finally just pulled it up and replaced the pads underneath (and seeing the pads pretty much convinced me that those cats NEVER used a litter box) so finally the smell was gone. The paint looked great and we've purchased a new beveled glass front door that will be installed later so....fast forward to Monday the 8th of September.
Our sea freight finally arrived and the entire day was spent unloading the shipment. On Tuesday two of the guys returned to the house and we started unpacking a LOT of things (but not all since nothing gets put away, it just lays around on every available flat surface). Tuesday I began organizing my kitchen (always the first priority) and then Wednesday morning was the first BSF intro class. The timing was bad but if I didn't go there was a good chance I wouldn't be put into a BSF group so I went to the intro class and then back to the house to finish the kitchen and begin on Paul's room (the number two priority). Wednesday night we got the last of the things from the apartment we've been living in since July 2nd and cleaned it from top to bottom.
Thursday morning news "Hurricane Ike Aimed at Galveston!" so a great deal of time on Thursday was spent in a fruitless search for water and D batteries. I got up at 6 a.m. on Friday and finally found the water but the batteries continued to elude me. We did a few moving in things on Friday afternoon and evening, set up the TV and game room and Stephen got his entire room unpacked but that night....here came Ike.
Saturday rained ALL day, no power, hot, damp (we're in Houston what else needs to be said)! It wasn't sunny enough outside to be able to see inside but sustained minimal damage, part of our fence is down from a falling limb but otherwise just scattered winds and some water in a few downstairs windows, the windows didn't break, just seeped in with the 100 mph winds but of course that necessitated pulling back carpet so the pad and foundation would dry making any kind of moving in/putting away exceedingly difficult.
On Sunday we decided we could deal with a hurricane or we could deal with moving in but dealing with both was just beyond our abilities to deal and the entire mess wasn't going anywhere so we buttoned up the house and headed to Fort Worth and my parents where we've had a bed that isn't damp, air conditioning and laundry facilities. Thank you LORD for great parents!!!!
Anyway...today we're heading back to Houston to actually move into our house and settle down, hopefully with some power soon. So...any of you who've been wondering what we've been up to...you're up to date! Once life returns to some semblance of normal I promise to blog more regularly and on more important topics. Can't wait for BSF to really get started, I'm sure there will be lots to talk about!
For now, I'm going to listen to something by Tina Turner (another Ike survivor) and count my blessings!
We finally found a house in mid-August and closed within fourteen days but the sellers wouldn't move out before closing. I can't really blame them as they were frightened by the number of closings that have failed. Anyway, after they moved out we finally were able to get into the house to clean and paint. The house didn't LOOK dirty but it was filthy. They had 3 cats and a dog and the place had a distinct litter box smell that we couldn't seem to get rid of. After having the carpets cleaned once, and enzyme treated twice we finally just pulled it up and replaced the pads underneath (and seeing the pads pretty much convinced me that those cats NEVER used a litter box) so finally the smell was gone. The paint looked great and we've purchased a new beveled glass front door that will be installed later so....fast forward to Monday the 8th of September.
Our sea freight finally arrived and the entire day was spent unloading the shipment. On Tuesday two of the guys returned to the house and we started unpacking a LOT of things (but not all since nothing gets put away, it just lays around on every available flat surface). Tuesday I began organizing my kitchen (always the first priority) and then Wednesday morning was the first BSF intro class. The timing was bad but if I didn't go there was a good chance I wouldn't be put into a BSF group so I went to the intro class and then back to the house to finish the kitchen and begin on Paul's room (the number two priority). Wednesday night we got the last of the things from the apartment we've been living in since July 2nd and cleaned it from top to bottom.
Thursday morning news "Hurricane Ike Aimed at Galveston!" so a great deal of time on Thursday was spent in a fruitless search for water and D batteries. I got up at 6 a.m. on Friday and finally found the water but the batteries continued to elude me. We did a few moving in things on Friday afternoon and evening, set up the TV and game room and Stephen got his entire room unpacked but that night....here came Ike.
Saturday rained ALL day, no power, hot, damp (we're in Houston what else needs to be said)! It wasn't sunny enough outside to be able to see inside but sustained minimal damage, part of our fence is down from a falling limb but otherwise just scattered winds and some water in a few downstairs windows, the windows didn't break, just seeped in with the 100 mph winds but of course that necessitated pulling back carpet so the pad and foundation would dry making any kind of moving in/putting away exceedingly difficult.
On Sunday we decided we could deal with a hurricane or we could deal with moving in but dealing with both was just beyond our abilities to deal and the entire mess wasn't going anywhere so we buttoned up the house and headed to Fort Worth and my parents where we've had a bed that isn't damp, air conditioning and laundry facilities. Thank you LORD for great parents!!!!
Anyway...today we're heading back to Houston to actually move into our house and settle down, hopefully with some power soon. So...any of you who've been wondering what we've been up to...you're up to date! Once life returns to some semblance of normal I promise to blog more regularly and on more important topics. Can't wait for BSF to really get started, I'm sure there will be lots to talk about!
For now, I'm going to listen to something by Tina Turner (another Ike survivor) and count my blessings!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
She's there!
Well, we did it! Chelsea is settled in at OCU. Her dorm room is tiny, her roommate seems very nice and her RA is a sweetheart! I'll get pictures up as soon as possible (still need to download them from my camera) but we got her room all fixed-up with lime green fake fur and pink satin so it's a drama queen's haven (as it should be).
We drove her up to OKC on Monday morning after spending a wonderful Sunday night with Chris and Jeanie. Jeanie and I spent time talking about decorating my new house but that will be in a later post. This one is about getting my first little chick off to college and I realize I must be the weirdest mom in the world but I still haven't been teary or sad about it. Just excited for her and sure she's going to have a wonderful time. (Jeanie says it has to do with how well-grounded Chelsea is. She felt the same way with Rachel, just confident that she'd be fine. It's our BOYS who will give us worries!)
It rained the ENTIRE time we were in OKC, in fact it rained from the time we left Dallas until we drove back through it yesterday, but that just meant that the temperatures were nice and cool. I think Oklahoma City will be a good place for Chelsea to get used to being on her own, especially doing more driving. It's laid out on a grid, making it easy to get around and the people seem so friendly and down to earth (even for drama people) which is a very good thing.
She and her daddy got her bank account established, student ID, bills and car registration done so all she had left to do was to get a phone in OKC. Something she can handle on her own without any problems. I'll write more when I get some pictures up.
We drove her up to OKC on Monday morning after spending a wonderful Sunday night with Chris and Jeanie. Jeanie and I spent time talking about decorating my new house but that will be in a later post. This one is about getting my first little chick off to college and I realize I must be the weirdest mom in the world but I still haven't been teary or sad about it. Just excited for her and sure she's going to have a wonderful time. (Jeanie says it has to do with how well-grounded Chelsea is. She felt the same way with Rachel, just confident that she'd be fine. It's our BOYS who will give us worries!)
It rained the ENTIRE time we were in OKC, in fact it rained from the time we left Dallas until we drove back through it yesterday, but that just meant that the temperatures were nice and cool. I think Oklahoma City will be a good place for Chelsea to get used to being on her own, especially doing more driving. It's laid out on a grid, making it easy to get around and the people seem so friendly and down to earth (even for drama people) which is a very good thing.
She and her daddy got her bank account established, student ID, bills and car registration done so all she had left to do was to get a phone in OKC. Something she can handle on her own without any problems. I'll write more when I get some pictures up.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Cheap Trick/Heart/Journey ,,,and PAUL!
We had so much fun at the Journey, Heart and Cheap Trick concert in the Woodlands but like Vicki Courtney (my alltime favorite blogger!) I was a bit amazed at the side shows.
I had mixed up the date on the concert and Rick and Stephen were still in Philmont so Chelsea invited two of her best friends to go with us, Megan and Melissa. After a very rushed dinner we headed to the Woodlands and managed to sit in traffic for 30 minutes before finally parking in the garage (which I was very happy about!)
So...there I am at the concert with three beautiful teenage girls and one little DS boy! They had a terrific time and I think WE were probably the side show for the people around us at least during the concert. Paul was rocking!
He stood up and danced during Heart and got on my shoulders to see Journey (let's face it he was quite a bit shorter than everyone around us).
While up on my shoulders he was playing air guitar and if you think it's easy to have a 60 pound kid playing air guitar perched on your shoulders you would be WRONG! By the end of Journey's set (and by the way Arnel Pineda is wonderful but no one will ever truly be able to replace Steve Perry in my book) Paul was sacked out on our blanket, deeply unconscious.
The girls were pretty into the music too. I think Megan sang along with every song Journey did and Melissa was dancing. Chelsea and Paul were getting into it too!
Dancing and taking bows? I know, I know, it's just one of Paul's idiosyncrasies)
We decided to just wait for the place to clear out before we made our way back to the car and that's when I started to realize that the hill was littered with people who were simply too wasted to get up and move. Most of them MY age!!!! Here's Paul also wasted but in a completely different way!
I have to say I was embarrassed for my contemporaries, especially when we got to the lift of the garage. We'd finally got Paul up and made our way down to the car and waiting for the lift were two women, one of whom could barely stand. She was leaning against the lift door, too inebriated to support herself. Her friend (who to give her credit appeared to be a designated driver) helped her in to the lift and then four more middle aged women got on, loudly laughing and cursing. The women got flustered when they realized there was a child on the lift and started apologizing in that profuse drunken way. My daughter and her friends thought it was funny but I have to admit I was just embarrassed for them. All I could think was that a hangover is a lot harder at 48 than it is at 18 and they were really going to be hurting in the morning!
By the way, despite Megan's expression my girls had NOTHING alcoholic to drink!
I had mixed up the date on the concert and Rick and Stephen were still in Philmont so Chelsea invited two of her best friends to go with us, Megan and Melissa. After a very rushed dinner we headed to the Woodlands and managed to sit in traffic for 30 minutes before finally parking in the garage (which I was very happy about!)
So...there I am at the concert with three beautiful teenage girls and one little DS boy! They had a terrific time and I think WE were probably the side show for the people around us at least during the concert. Paul was rocking!
He stood up and danced during Heart and got on my shoulders to see Journey (let's face it he was quite a bit shorter than everyone around us).
While up on my shoulders he was playing air guitar and if you think it's easy to have a 60 pound kid playing air guitar perched on your shoulders you would be WRONG! By the end of Journey's set (and by the way Arnel Pineda is wonderful but no one will ever truly be able to replace Steve Perry in my book) Paul was sacked out on our blanket, deeply unconscious.
The girls were pretty into the music too. I think Megan sang along with every song Journey did and Melissa was dancing. Chelsea and Paul were getting into it too!
Dancing and taking bows? I know, I know, it's just one of Paul's idiosyncrasies)
We decided to just wait for the place to clear out before we made our way back to the car and that's when I started to realize that the hill was littered with people who were simply too wasted to get up and move. Most of them MY age!!!! Here's Paul also wasted but in a completely different way!
I have to say I was embarrassed for my contemporaries, especially when we got to the lift of the garage. We'd finally got Paul up and made our way down to the car and waiting for the lift were two women, one of whom could barely stand. She was leaning against the lift door, too inebriated to support herself. Her friend (who to give her credit appeared to be a designated driver) helped her in to the lift and then four more middle aged women got on, loudly laughing and cursing. The women got flustered when they realized there was a child on the lift and started apologizing in that profuse drunken way. My daughter and her friends thought it was funny but I have to admit I was just embarrassed for them. All I could think was that a hangover is a lot harder at 48 than it is at 18 and they were really going to be hurting in the morning!
By the way, despite Megan's expression my girls had NOTHING alcoholic to drink!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
China Patterns, Cars and Houses: The Common Denominator
I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes marriage work, specifically my own. Part of the reason this is on my mind is that I had a little discussion about it yesterday with, of all people, a used car salesman. Kevin was a young man who while we were looking at cars told me he is engaged, and is very excited about it. I told him that getting married was the smartest thing I'd ever done and I find it kind of cool that that is still true after 20+ years. We talked through 5 test drives about the give and take of being married and the impact having parents with good marriages makes on one's own marriage. He was one of the best car salesmen I've met and I'm definitely going back to buy a car from him. He also got to see in practice a bit of the give and take I was talking about.
Right now Rick and Stephen are backpacking at the National Boy Scout camp in Philmont. This 12 day hiking trip was planned before we knew we'd be moving back to the states and I have to say it couldn't be more inconvenient. I can't do anything without Rick! That may sound like a whiny exaggeration but it's actually the truth...I mean I drove 5 cars yesterday, one that I would have purchased immediately if Rick had been with me but since he wasn't it will have to wait. (the frustrating part is that it's a used car and it probably won't be there when he gets back!) The same thing is happening with house-hunting. I found one I ABSOLUTELY love but it's a foreclosure and chances are again very good that it will be gone by the time Rick gets home.
BTW, I realize that God is teaching me a lesson about waiting and not getting my heart (and mind) focused on a thing! If that house and that car are God's will then they'll be there when I can purchase them...and if they're not God's will I'm much better off without them! I really do want to be in God's will but I will confess that sometimes it would be better if I wanted it more!
Anyway, I got a bit off topic but back to the subject of marriage. I could tell that Kevin really wanted me to buy the car (and like I've said I would also have liked for me to buy the car) but after our earlier conversation I pointed out to him that making a major purchase is something married people do together. That's one of the things that make marriage work. And while I've been frustrated shopping without Rick and often feel like I'm wasting my time, deep down I know that I'm not. I'll narrow the house field down to 5 or 6 that I really like and then we'll look at them together and decide what's right for us. We've actually been using this system since before we were married. When we were engaged we needed to choose a china pattern and while I loved looking at china patterns Rick had other things he preferred to spend his time on. So...I chose three patterns that I liked and Rick looked at the three and said "that one". This may seem like an overly simple system but we've found that it works in our marriage. The truth is that I often can't make a final decision, more than one thing appeals to me, and Rick is able to judge more objectively and look at function over form (something I think a lot of women struggle with).Our system works to our strengths and I believe it is also Biblical. It keeps Rick in the position of leadership which is important in marriage.
Just some thoughts for today...now I'm off to look at more houses!
Right now Rick and Stephen are backpacking at the National Boy Scout camp in Philmont. This 12 day hiking trip was planned before we knew we'd be moving back to the states and I have to say it couldn't be more inconvenient. I can't do anything without Rick! That may sound like a whiny exaggeration but it's actually the truth...I mean I drove 5 cars yesterday, one that I would have purchased immediately if Rick had been with me but since he wasn't it will have to wait. (the frustrating part is that it's a used car and it probably won't be there when he gets back!) The same thing is happening with house-hunting. I found one I ABSOLUTELY love but it's a foreclosure and chances are again very good that it will be gone by the time Rick gets home.
BTW, I realize that God is teaching me a lesson about waiting and not getting my heart (and mind) focused on a thing! If that house and that car are God's will then they'll be there when I can purchase them...and if they're not God's will I'm much better off without them! I really do want to be in God's will but I will confess that sometimes it would be better if I wanted it more!
Anyway, I got a bit off topic but back to the subject of marriage. I could tell that Kevin really wanted me to buy the car (and like I've said I would also have liked for me to buy the car) but after our earlier conversation I pointed out to him that making a major purchase is something married people do together. That's one of the things that make marriage work. And while I've been frustrated shopping without Rick and often feel like I'm wasting my time, deep down I know that I'm not. I'll narrow the house field down to 5 or 6 that I really like and then we'll look at them together and decide what's right for us. We've actually been using this system since before we were married. When we were engaged we needed to choose a china pattern and while I loved looking at china patterns Rick had other things he preferred to spend his time on. So...I chose three patterns that I liked and Rick looked at the three and said "that one". This may seem like an overly simple system but we've found that it works in our marriage. The truth is that I often can't make a final decision, more than one thing appeals to me, and Rick is able to judge more objectively and look at function over form (something I think a lot of women struggle with).Our system works to our strengths and I believe it is also Biblical. It keeps Rick in the position of leadership which is important in marriage.
Just some thoughts for today...now I'm off to look at more houses!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Catching up!
Well, I just realized it's been more than a month since I wrote anything. An international move will do that to you. At this moment we are in an apartment that is maybe 950 square feet (quite a change from the more than 4000 we were enjoying in Singapore). Our air shipment arrived today and I'm looking forward to being able to cook in my own wok again!
Something I studied in nursing school was stress as a predictor of illness. Most of you have seen this thing somewhere, it lists stressful situations and prescribes them a point value up to 100 points. Loss of a spouse is 100 points, divorce is 75 points so forth and so on, even Christmas gets a point value. A score of more than 300 puts one at high risk for stress-related illness. Well, I was calculating some of my stressors, international move, child leaving home, major purchase of car or appliances (3 cars, washer & dryer, lawn mower et al), mortgage application, new school...the list just goes on and on. Then add in that Rick has all the same ones I do plus a new job and the fact that while I get to be married to him he has to be married to me (far more stressful!) and you can see we're feeling a bit overwhelmed!
Anyway...I didn't write all this for sympathy (but if you want to give me some I'd be happy to take it) I wrote it to talk about something related but different, ways to deal with anger. I have a natural tendency to express stress and anxiety as anger. (Rick tends to withdraw into himself which is why he's easier to live with than I am) And anger has been the big thing the Holy Spirit has been convicting me of ever since I did Breaking Free. In fact one of the things Beth Moore suggested in that study that has been a big help to me is to get some 3x5 cards and look up all the Bible verses related to your area of bondage. Then, when you're feeling the need for wise words you can look up your verses. Well, I have about 35 3x5 cards on a little ring that I try to always have nearby. Some of my favorites are Proverbs 29:11 "A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back." and Isaiah 58:9b-10 "If you remove the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness and give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom will become like midday." and James 1:19-20 "This you know, my beloved brethren, But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."
Anyway, just wanted to share something that's been helping me to control anger and ask you to pray for me to keep it up. I'll try to post more frequently now that we're in Houston and I'm online again! God Bless
Something I studied in nursing school was stress as a predictor of illness. Most of you have seen this thing somewhere, it lists stressful situations and prescribes them a point value up to 100 points. Loss of a spouse is 100 points, divorce is 75 points so forth and so on, even Christmas gets a point value. A score of more than 300 puts one at high risk for stress-related illness. Well, I was calculating some of my stressors, international move, child leaving home, major purchase of car or appliances (3 cars, washer & dryer, lawn mower et al), mortgage application, new school...the list just goes on and on. Then add in that Rick has all the same ones I do plus a new job and the fact that while I get to be married to him he has to be married to me (far more stressful!) and you can see we're feeling a bit overwhelmed!
Anyway...I didn't write all this for sympathy (but if you want to give me some I'd be happy to take it) I wrote it to talk about something related but different, ways to deal with anger. I have a natural tendency to express stress and anxiety as anger. (Rick tends to withdraw into himself which is why he's easier to live with than I am) And anger has been the big thing the Holy Spirit has been convicting me of ever since I did Breaking Free. In fact one of the things Beth Moore suggested in that study that has been a big help to me is to get some 3x5 cards and look up all the Bible verses related to your area of bondage. Then, when you're feeling the need for wise words you can look up your verses. Well, I have about 35 3x5 cards on a little ring that I try to always have nearby. Some of my favorites are Proverbs 29:11 "A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back." and Isaiah 58:9b-10 "If you remove the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness and give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness and your gloom will become like midday." and James 1:19-20 "This you know, my beloved brethren, But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."
Anyway, just wanted to share something that's been helping me to control anger and ask you to pray for me to keep it up. I'll try to post more frequently now that we're in Houston and I'm online again! God Bless
Friday, June 6, 2008
Class of 2008
Hard to believe that she's officially a high school graduate! I know that every mom out there says it feels like yesterday that she graduated from kindergarten but I have to say that they're all telling the truth. It really does. Whenever I see parents out with their little girl around 3 or 4 I always stop and say...enjoy it! It's going to go so fast you can't even imagine! Anyway...here's some photos of Chelsea and a few of her friends.
This photo is of the Senior SAS Singers doing Carrie Underwood's "Don't Forget to Remember Me". Chelsea did the solo on the line "make sure you tell daddy that I'm still his little girl" so needless to say at least one daddy had tears in his eyes!
We have a family tradition called "here's Paul at____________" Well, Paul didn't go to graduation but we got a picture of him in Chelsea's mortarboard when she opened her presents.
Chelsea and her best friend Hannah. They couldn't be more alike and more dissimilar at the same time if they tried. Chelsea's a conservative Christian, Hannah describes herself as a "very liberal athiest". They still have a strong friendship and I don't think the distance between Oklahoma City University and Vassar will keep them too far apart!
Mimi and Nonno came all the way from Texas to see Chelsea graduate and we're so glad they did! It was wonderful to have them at the big event.
Here she is with Jake, her very sweet, laid back and talented boyfriend. Can this kid ever play the guitar!!!!
This photo is of the Senior SAS Singers doing Carrie Underwood's "Don't Forget to Remember Me". Chelsea did the solo on the line "make sure you tell daddy that I'm still his little girl" so needless to say at least one daddy had tears in his eyes!
We have a family tradition called "here's Paul at____________" Well, Paul didn't go to graduation but we got a picture of him in Chelsea's mortarboard when she opened her presents.
Chelsea and her best friend Hannah. They couldn't be more alike and more dissimilar at the same time if they tried. Chelsea's a conservative Christian, Hannah describes herself as a "very liberal athiest". They still have a strong friendship and I don't think the distance between Oklahoma City University and Vassar will keep them too far apart!
Mimi and Nonno came all the way from Texas to see Chelsea graduate and we're so glad they did! It was wonderful to have them at the big event.
Here she is with Jake, her very sweet, laid back and talented boyfriend. Can this kid ever play the guitar!!!!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Family
Happy, happy days! Rick's folks are here from Houston and we're so happy to see them. If you know me at all you've heard me say a million times that you couldn't get better in-laws than I have if you custom ordered them. They are fun, loving, generous, pleasant to be around and in their own Italian way pretty darn ethnic. (so fun for a generic white bread girl like me) Last night we were sitting in the living room talking and I got the biggest sense of deja vu!
When Rick and I first started dating I would spend quite a bit of time at his parent's home. If you've never been in an Italian family's home here's what goes on. The radio is going in the kitchen, the TV is on in the den and 8 people are sitting around talking, having at least 3 (and sometimes more) conversations. NEVER with the person sitting next to you! Always with someone across the room. If you could diagram the noise it would look like one of those matching exercises your kids brought home from pre-school with all the lines criss-crossing one another. I would occasionally retreat to the formal living room by myself and when Rick would realize I was gone he'd follow me and ask "Are you okay?". I'd always tell him "I'm fine, I just needed a break from the noise". Last night I didn't need a break from the noise, it was the sweetest sound I've heard in months!
One of the biggest drawbacks to expat life is the lack of extended family. I realize that we've always been unusually close to our families, living within 50 miles of both sets of parents most of our married lives, but I honestly enjoy and love my family and Rick's. We're not perfect and there are the occasional disagreements but overall I've found life without them to be the hardest part of overseas life. I'm looking forward to being home again. I'm looking forward to quick unplanned dinners with parents and having grandparents who are able to come and see choir concerts and plays. I'm happy that cousins will be around and we won't miss any more graduations, weddings or weekends at the beachhouse. I like knowing that they're nearby if I have an emergency and I like knowing that I'm nearby if they have one.
Singapore has been terrific but deep down (and not so deep), I'm an American and I'm happy to be going home!
When Rick and I first started dating I would spend quite a bit of time at his parent's home. If you've never been in an Italian family's home here's what goes on. The radio is going in the kitchen, the TV is on in the den and 8 people are sitting around talking, having at least 3 (and sometimes more) conversations. NEVER with the person sitting next to you! Always with someone across the room. If you could diagram the noise it would look like one of those matching exercises your kids brought home from pre-school with all the lines criss-crossing one another. I would occasionally retreat to the formal living room by myself and when Rick would realize I was gone he'd follow me and ask "Are you okay?". I'd always tell him "I'm fine, I just needed a break from the noise". Last night I didn't need a break from the noise, it was the sweetest sound I've heard in months!
One of the biggest drawbacks to expat life is the lack of extended family. I realize that we've always been unusually close to our families, living within 50 miles of both sets of parents most of our married lives, but I honestly enjoy and love my family and Rick's. We're not perfect and there are the occasional disagreements but overall I've found life without them to be the hardest part of overseas life. I'm looking forward to being home again. I'm looking forward to quick unplanned dinners with parents and having grandparents who are able to come and see choir concerts and plays. I'm happy that cousins will be around and we won't miss any more graduations, weddings or weekends at the beachhouse. I like knowing that they're nearby if I have an emergency and I like knowing that I'm nearby if they have one.
Singapore has been terrific but deep down (and not so deep), I'm an American and I'm happy to be going home!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Sympathy
It's a pretty rare thing for me to cry over a news story but the news about Steven Curtis Chapman's family tragedy had me in tears. I can't even imagine the double tragedy of losing a loved child at the hands of another loved child. While I feel terrific sympathy for Maria my heart just breaks for Steven's son.
I keep thinking about Joseph and his brothers and I kept remembering the verse as saying "what you meant for evil, God meant for good" but when I really started studying the verses in Genesis 45 I noticed something. The verses actually say "Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God" (NAS, Genesis 45:5-8a). Maybe I'm being silly but I found comfort in those verses and I hope the Curtis son does too! Joseph never accuses his brothers of 'meaning evil' but reiterates to them that God uses terrible situations to work his will.
I don't know if the Chapman's son was being a careful and responsible driver and he may have 'should haves' for himself but I am absolutely confident that this was an accident and it's a heavy burden for any teenager to bear. The press hasn't revealed whether the teenager behind the wheel was Will Franklin or Caleb but I hope that you all will join me in praying for the Chapman family and most specifically their son.
I keep thinking about Joseph and his brothers and I kept remembering the verse as saying "what you meant for evil, God meant for good" but when I really started studying the verses in Genesis 45 I noticed something. The verses actually say "Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God" (NAS, Genesis 45:5-8a). Maybe I'm being silly but I found comfort in those verses and I hope the Curtis son does too! Joseph never accuses his brothers of 'meaning evil' but reiterates to them that God uses terrible situations to work his will.
I don't know if the Chapman's son was being a careful and responsible driver and he may have 'should haves' for himself but I am absolutely confident that this was an accident and it's a heavy burden for any teenager to bear. The press hasn't revealed whether the teenager behind the wheel was Will Franklin or Caleb but I hope that you all will join me in praying for the Chapman family and most specifically their son.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Unworthy Thoughts
Am I the only person who has struggled with some of the things Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount? The one that always was hard for me was the idea that thinking the sin was just as bad as doing the sin...you know what I'm talking about. "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery; but I say to you that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." and "You have heard that the ancients were told, 'You shall not commit murder' and 'Whoever commits murder shall be liable in court.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court" (NAS, Matthew 5:27-28, 21-22a).
God really gave me some insight into that whole idea over the past few days with the great passport mystery! If you read yesterday's blog you know about the whole passport thing,one of the things I wrote was that I remembered thinking I should hide Chelsea's passport and then not really remembering what I did with it. Well, apparently I did not actually follow through on my not very nice thoughts about hiding it. The passport was found yesterday under Chelsea's bed. I realize that I probably took it upstairs and laid it on her bed with all the rest of her stuff (you know, the stuff that accumulates downstairs when she doesn't want to make trips up to the third floor) and I was probably pretty irritated when I did it. I'm pretty confident it wasn't exactly done with a heart full of love and affection, more likely one full of anger and resentment, so in a lot of ways my sin was totally within my thought life rather than in my actions. But...I've felt pretty guilty about my attitude both that day and the general unforgiveness I'd been showing Chelsea about her earlier passport mishandling. The stress and anxiety of not having the passport brought those feelings to the front. The Holy Spirit has been convicting me of my "thought sin" ever since the passport has been missing. He has used this little incident to teach me about sins you think rather than do and prompting me to confess those sins to Chelsea in particular. Not a bad lesson to take from a silly lost passport.
That said...I'm still really happy we found the passport, no police report, no lines at the Embassy, no delay in going home! God cares about the little things as well as the big ones! Oh...and I have to confess I'm not the one who found it. My cleaning lady Jocelyn found it and I'm very grateful to her too!
God really gave me some insight into that whole idea over the past few days with the great passport mystery! If you read yesterday's blog you know about the whole passport thing,one of the things I wrote was that I remembered thinking I should hide Chelsea's passport and then not really remembering what I did with it. Well, apparently I did not actually follow through on my not very nice thoughts about hiding it. The passport was found yesterday under Chelsea's bed. I realize that I probably took it upstairs and laid it on her bed with all the rest of her stuff (you know, the stuff that accumulates downstairs when she doesn't want to make trips up to the third floor) and I was probably pretty irritated when I did it. I'm pretty confident it wasn't exactly done with a heart full of love and affection, more likely one full of anger and resentment, so in a lot of ways my sin was totally within my thought life rather than in my actions. But...I've felt pretty guilty about my attitude both that day and the general unforgiveness I'd been showing Chelsea about her earlier passport mishandling. The stress and anxiety of not having the passport brought those feelings to the front. The Holy Spirit has been convicting me of my "thought sin" ever since the passport has been missing. He has used this little incident to teach me about sins you think rather than do and prompting me to confess those sins to Chelsea in particular. Not a bad lesson to take from a silly lost passport.
That said...I'm still really happy we found the passport, no police report, no lines at the Embassy, no delay in going home! God cares about the little things as well as the big ones! Oh...and I have to confess I'm not the one who found it. My cleaning lady Jocelyn found it and I'm very grateful to her too!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Pray Hard!
Do you ever have one of those days when you're so completely obsessed with something and then the Lord says, "okay Lorri (or whatever your name is) it's no big deal".
We've lost Chelsea's passport. Actually to be a lot more accurate I lost Chelsea's passport. Long story short...two years ago Chelsea left her passport in her pants and it got washed, mom reamed her about her carelessness and made a big deal of the whole passport replacement process but we got her a new one and from that point on I haven't really trusted her with her passport. Big mistake. When she'd go on a trip I'd make her return the passport to me, or I'd find her passport just lying around and would get on to her. The main point here is that I really didn't forgive her for the whole passport issue. So...when Chelsea went to the States in March she brought her passport home and left it downstairs. I vaguely remember seeing the passport and thinking "I'll just put this away so it's a bit hard for her to find and then maybe she'll take better care of it".
Well, I put it away alright. I have ABSOLUTELY no memory of what I did with the #@*%&*passport!!!! I have searched my house upside down for the passport and cannot find it. I intended to write today and ask people to please, please, please be praying that I'll find this stupid passport and then I got an e-mail from my friend Martha. The subject line said urgent prayer request.
Of course I read Mattie's e-mail and learned about two new parents who's baby was just born with Down Syndrome and an endocardial cushion defect twelve weeks early! That's 3 MONTHS early folks, she weighs less than 2 pounds! The baby, Ellie, is as cute as can be and her parents are upbeat and positive but I just know how they feel right this very minute and all I could think of is the amount of time I have spent praying and stressing about something as stupid as a lost passport. Please be praying for Ellie, that she won't have any side effects from her prematurity, for her parents to be strong and have courage (as it says in Joshua) that they be able to take care of her. I remember those days so clearly, when we never knew if Paul was going to make it or not, how faith was sometimes so hard to hold on to and how God saw me through everything. Isn't it kind of amazing that God could connect Ellie's parents to someone in SINGAPORE, literally half-way around the world, who understands their situation completely and can pray for them specifically. I found a new reason to be in awe of how amazing God is! That's better than finding a passport any day!
We've lost Chelsea's passport. Actually to be a lot more accurate I lost Chelsea's passport. Long story short...two years ago Chelsea left her passport in her pants and it got washed, mom reamed her about her carelessness and made a big deal of the whole passport replacement process but we got her a new one and from that point on I haven't really trusted her with her passport. Big mistake. When she'd go on a trip I'd make her return the passport to me, or I'd find her passport just lying around and would get on to her. The main point here is that I really didn't forgive her for the whole passport issue. So...when Chelsea went to the States in March she brought her passport home and left it downstairs. I vaguely remember seeing the passport and thinking "I'll just put this away so it's a bit hard for her to find and then maybe she'll take better care of it".
Well, I put it away alright. I have ABSOLUTELY no memory of what I did with the #@*%&*passport!!!! I have searched my house upside down for the passport and cannot find it. I intended to write today and ask people to please, please, please be praying that I'll find this stupid passport and then I got an e-mail from my friend Martha. The subject line said urgent prayer request.
Of course I read Mattie's e-mail and learned about two new parents who's baby was just born with Down Syndrome and an endocardial cushion defect twelve weeks early! That's 3 MONTHS early folks, she weighs less than 2 pounds! The baby, Ellie, is as cute as can be and her parents are upbeat and positive but I just know how they feel right this very minute and all I could think of is the amount of time I have spent praying and stressing about something as stupid as a lost passport. Please be praying for Ellie, that she won't have any side effects from her prematurity, for her parents to be strong and have courage (as it says in Joshua) that they be able to take care of her. I remember those days so clearly, when we never knew if Paul was going to make it or not, how faith was sometimes so hard to hold on to and how God saw me through everything. Isn't it kind of amazing that God could connect Ellie's parents to someone in SINGAPORE, literally half-way around the world, who understands their situation completely and can pray for them specifically. I found a new reason to be in awe of how amazing God is! That's better than finding a passport any day!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
It's Official!!!
Well, it's official! We're moving back to Houston in June. We've known there was a possibility of a move for a couple of months but weren't sure where we were going to be. There were rumours of Scotland (Edinburgh which would have been SOOOO cool) and Norway but Houston won out and I have to say that I'm absolutely delighted. I love Houston and even though many people think of it as that big ugly spot on the gulf coast to me it is and always will be home. I don't think you meet nicer people than Houstonians anywhere else in the world. I will miss some things about Singapore though and right now I have so much to do I can't even think straight. I've pretty much decided that we're going to concentrate on getting through Chelsea's graduation before we worry about anything else. So..if this blog seems a little brief it's because (as my mom used to say) I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger. I'll keep you posted on how things are going.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Jakarta: Reasons to Love Singapore
I haven't written in a while because I joined two good friends for a shopping trip to Jakarta. While shopping in Jakarta is a fun adventure the city (and country of Indonesia) sure do make one appreciate the loveliness that is Singapore. I've been reviewing my time in Jakarta and trying to recognize just what it is about Jakarta that makes one feel an overwhelming sense of sadness and I've pretty much decided that the reason is the unbelievable contrast between the haves and the have-nots.
Here are my top 5 reasons to appreciate Singapore after visiting Jakarta:
#1 Driving. In Singapore you can safely drive your own car! Expatriates in Jakarta do not drive themselves, this isn't because of the traffic (although the traffic is unbelievable and will be discussed shortly) but because they are susceptible to fraud. Indonesian people have been known to literally ram into an expat driving a car in order to collect money from them, or even rob them outright. So...everyone there has to hire a driver. Since those who know me well know that I've carried on a passionate affair with my driver's license since the day I turned 16 I found the whole concept of a driver a bit repugnant! I will admit however that after spending four days being driven around Jakarta a driver is probably a good thing. There's no telling where my road rage would land me. Which of course leads to...
#2 Traffic. Singaporeans may be kiasu but Indonesians are just plain crazy! The lady we stayed with described the typical stop light in Jakarta very colorfully. How many of you have seen the illustration (usually during a women's Bible study) of the container that's not really full. First large stones are put into a vase until it is full, then when it looks like it can't hold any more small pebbles are poured in and they fill up a lot of the spaces. But that isn't all...next sand is poured in to fill up the rest of the spaces and finally water is poured in to fill up every space in the vase. That's a picture of a typical traffic light in Jakarta...first the cars pull up and come to a stop, then the motorcycles pour in and fill up all the spaces between and around the cars and then you might have a few pedestrians fill in the infinitesimal spaces left by the motorcycles. And of course when you get ready to start moving after the light turns green it takes forever for all the smaller vehicles to get out of the way so you can move again. Lanes are a suggestion (and sometimes traffic flow is too!) and the reason there are few sidewalks is that people will drive on them if they are present! Although we were staying less than a kilometer from the mall where we did a lot of shopping, walking is absolutely unheard of and is literally dangerous to attempt. Man...I love Singapore!
#3 Filth. Jakarta is dirty! Every surface has graffiti on it, garbage fills streets and piles up next to fences. The canals are full of human excrement because there is literally no adequate sewage system. Everything is grimy and dirty
#4 Squatty potties. Toilet stops are as carefully planned as the D-Day invasion. If you're in a nice restaurant or home you automatically go to the bathroom just in case! I felt like I was five years old again about to go on a long car ride with my dad: "better go now, don't know when you'll have another chance!" Enough said!
#5 Safety. Singapore is safe. There's just no getting around that fact. When you are out late at night in Singapore you never feel at risk or insecure. In Jakarta the threat of terrorism is everywhere. Your purse gets checked everywhere you go and the idea that someone could harm you merely because you are an American is based in reality. I found the people to be friendly, smiling and pleasant (actually more than Singaporeans) but the deep-rooted corruption that is part of Indonesia leaves you with the feeling that if something bad were to happen you would be extremely vulnerable.
Here are my top 5 reasons to appreciate Singapore after visiting Jakarta:
#1 Driving. In Singapore you can safely drive your own car! Expatriates in Jakarta do not drive themselves, this isn't because of the traffic (although the traffic is unbelievable and will be discussed shortly) but because they are susceptible to fraud. Indonesian people have been known to literally ram into an expat driving a car in order to collect money from them, or even rob them outright. So...everyone there has to hire a driver. Since those who know me well know that I've carried on a passionate affair with my driver's license since the day I turned 16 I found the whole concept of a driver a bit repugnant! I will admit however that after spending four days being driven around Jakarta a driver is probably a good thing. There's no telling where my road rage would land me. Which of course leads to...
#2 Traffic. Singaporeans may be kiasu but Indonesians are just plain crazy! The lady we stayed with described the typical stop light in Jakarta very colorfully. How many of you have seen the illustration (usually during a women's Bible study) of the container that's not really full. First large stones are put into a vase until it is full, then when it looks like it can't hold any more small pebbles are poured in and they fill up a lot of the spaces. But that isn't all...next sand is poured in to fill up the rest of the spaces and finally water is poured in to fill up every space in the vase. That's a picture of a typical traffic light in Jakarta...first the cars pull up and come to a stop, then the motorcycles pour in and fill up all the spaces between and around the cars and then you might have a few pedestrians fill in the infinitesimal spaces left by the motorcycles. And of course when you get ready to start moving after the light turns green it takes forever for all the smaller vehicles to get out of the way so you can move again. Lanes are a suggestion (and sometimes traffic flow is too!) and the reason there are few sidewalks is that people will drive on them if they are present! Although we were staying less than a kilometer from the mall where we did a lot of shopping, walking is absolutely unheard of and is literally dangerous to attempt. Man...I love Singapore!
#3 Filth. Jakarta is dirty! Every surface has graffiti on it, garbage fills streets and piles up next to fences. The canals are full of human excrement because there is literally no adequate sewage system. Everything is grimy and dirty
#4 Squatty potties. Toilet stops are as carefully planned as the D-Day invasion. If you're in a nice restaurant or home you automatically go to the bathroom just in case! I felt like I was five years old again about to go on a long car ride with my dad: "better go now, don't know when you'll have another chance!" Enough said!
#5 Safety. Singapore is safe. There's just no getting around that fact. When you are out late at night in Singapore you never feel at risk or insecure. In Jakarta the threat of terrorism is everywhere. Your purse gets checked everywhere you go and the idea that someone could harm you merely because you are an American is based in reality. I found the people to be friendly, smiling and pleasant (actually more than Singaporeans) but the deep-rooted corruption that is part of Indonesia leaves you with the feeling that if something bad were to happen you would be extremely vulnerable.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Jazz Night
Jazz Night was a week ago. My older two kids go to the Singapore American School and both are members of the show choir there, SAS Singers. Every year Singers and the Jazz Band put on a fabulous show at the American Club of Jazz music and dancing, it really is a special evening and for the last two years I've been one of the moms who get to put together the decorations. We had so much fun this year with the theme of Big City Jazz and I just have to show off how beautiful the whole evening was! The food was good, the atmosphere was relaxed and the music was FABULOUS. (BTW the beautiful redhead on the left is mine!)
You know we often hear so much about bad teenagers and while mine are far from perfect it's a good thing to stop and recognize good kids when you see them. I listened to these kids perform great, fun music and they all seemed to have such a good time. It was a thrill to watch them and as the "choir mom" I know how hard they've worked. Not just the choir members but the amazing Jazz Band also!
I think one of the keys to having a "good" teenager is to let them pursue the things they are passionate about. Let dance, or drama, or music, or cheerleading, or sports or whatever...take up all their spare time (it leaves less time for getting into trouble) it makes them a part of a group of people who share their interest and they begin to understand the high price involved in doing something, anything, with excellence. I'm so proud of these teens, they really are terrific people and are going to be great adults!
(there's my other child, the handsome one!)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Multiculturalism and Walking with Jesus Every Day
Expat life offers a lot of challenges that we didn't have back in the U.S. and more than a few opportunities. The friendship of people from a variety of cultures involves both aspects and yet my teenagers seem to take it all in stride.
My kids are in the unique position of being in a situation where their pool of friends come from a wide (and I do mean wide) variety of faiths, cultures and influences. My daughter once commented that she realized at her lunch table in school that day was a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Christian, a Hindu and two Daoists. This was not assigned seating, it was a group of friends during a high school lunch period and I have to tell you sometimes that really scares me.
I worry that a friend who is atheist will have a profound effect on my child when what I should be doing is praising God that my child has the opportunity to have an effect on her! One night a friend of my daughter's had dinner with us, we bowed our heads to pray as we always do and this charming girl who is Hindu came into the kitchen after dinner to tell me what a special thing she thought it was. I think the key to seeing the opportunities as opposed to the challenges is to be strong in your own faith, to know what you believe and while you are friends with those of different backgrounds it's also important to maintain friendships and fellowship with those who share your beliefs.
During our four years in Singapore we've done that by hosting a Friday night youth Bible study called RestStop. Our group has fluctuated from as many as 23 kids to as few as 3 (and you never know from week to week which end of the spectrum you'll be on) but it has become a place of fellowship and study that the teenagers from our home church seem to appreciate and enjoy. It's not really an outreach, more of an opportunity for kids who already know Christ to grow in their faith and be equipped for the challenges they face in such a multi-cultural society as Singapore.
During my Bible study time this morning I read something Beth Moore wrote about the ways we share our love for Christ. One of the ways she mentioned, and the one I find myself identifying with the most was "provide opportunities for casual conversation in which Christ can be seen as a part of your life" (Breaking Free Study Guide, p.210). Sometimes I think that the daily presence of Christ in your life, the way He is integral to the way you live, is the greatest witness you can have.
My kids are in the unique position of being in a situation where their pool of friends come from a wide (and I do mean wide) variety of faiths, cultures and influences. My daughter once commented that she realized at her lunch table in school that day was a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Christian, a Hindu and two Daoists. This was not assigned seating, it was a group of friends during a high school lunch period and I have to tell you sometimes that really scares me.
I worry that a friend who is atheist will have a profound effect on my child when what I should be doing is praising God that my child has the opportunity to have an effect on her! One night a friend of my daughter's had dinner with us, we bowed our heads to pray as we always do and this charming girl who is Hindu came into the kitchen after dinner to tell me what a special thing she thought it was. I think the key to seeing the opportunities as opposed to the challenges is to be strong in your own faith, to know what you believe and while you are friends with those of different backgrounds it's also important to maintain friendships and fellowship with those who share your beliefs.
During our four years in Singapore we've done that by hosting a Friday night youth Bible study called RestStop. Our group has fluctuated from as many as 23 kids to as few as 3 (and you never know from week to week which end of the spectrum you'll be on) but it has become a place of fellowship and study that the teenagers from our home church seem to appreciate and enjoy. It's not really an outreach, more of an opportunity for kids who already know Christ to grow in their faith and be equipped for the challenges they face in such a multi-cultural society as Singapore.
During my Bible study time this morning I read something Beth Moore wrote about the ways we share our love for Christ. One of the ways she mentioned, and the one I find myself identifying with the most was "provide opportunities for casual conversation in which Christ can be seen as a part of your life" (Breaking Free Study Guide, p.210). Sometimes I think that the daily presence of Christ in your life, the way He is integral to the way you live, is the greatest witness you can have.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
A "Singapore Moment"
When you read this title you may ask yourself what exactly is a "Singapore moment". Well, this evening I had one.
My eighteen year old daughter and I decided to go to see the movie The Other Boleyn Girl. Darling hubby left for a business trip to Australia and my boys were happy to stay home, watch cartoons and eat leftover fajitas so my eldest and I decided to indulge in a true chick flick, period costumes and all. Now...although this movie is rated PG-13 in the U.S. here in Singapore it is rated N-16, meaning no one under 16 is admitted. Fine, probably a more appropriate rating than the PG-13 if you want to be honest, but my girl is eighteen like I mentioned before AND she was accompanied by her mother!! We get to the movie half an hour early, the man looks at our tickets and says we have to wait for the theatre to be ready. Again, fine we spend 30 minutes killing time around the mall. Then we go back to the movie, head in and are actually going to our seats when the tiny little man stops us and wants to see proof that Chelsea is over 16. We didn't bring her passport with us. I point out to the tiny little man that I am her mother and I am telling him she's over 16 but he is insistent so I tell him we need to talk to a manager. I argued with the manager for 10 minutes and pointed out to him that 1) if this same tiny little man had mentioned this problem the FIRST time he looked at our ticket (30 minutes ago) we could have gone home to get her passport, 2) that I am her mother and am the one responsible for her, 3) that the movie is actually rated PG-13 or 4) I'll never be giving this theatre my business again. None of these arguments made a bit of difference to the manager so we left after demanding a refund for not just the ticket but also the popcorn and coke we'd purchased, which he gave us. Then we went home, chose a different theatre, went there to a show that started an hour later and coincidentally they didn't even ASK for i.d. which of course we had brought with us this time.
One thing you have to realize about Singapore, in fact most Asian countries that I've visited, is that thinking for yourself is never a virtue here. Rules are made to be absolutely obeyed, circumstances (like the presence of a parent) are never considered, and no one has the ability to think critically or make a decision.
That is a "Singapore moment" and nights like this, where a person who is in a position of some authority and yet has absolutely no critical thinking skills or decision making ability manages to make your life just a little bit miserable are nights when I SO miss the U.S.A. Do you realize that in the U.S. people are taught to think for themselves and evaluate situations individually! I hope those of you who are there right now appreciate the next person who can listen to your situation and use intelligence and personal responsibility to respond appropriately!
My eighteen year old daughter and I decided to go to see the movie The Other Boleyn Girl. Darling hubby left for a business trip to Australia and my boys were happy to stay home, watch cartoons and eat leftover fajitas so my eldest and I decided to indulge in a true chick flick, period costumes and all. Now...although this movie is rated PG-13 in the U.S. here in Singapore it is rated N-16, meaning no one under 16 is admitted. Fine, probably a more appropriate rating than the PG-13 if you want to be honest, but my girl is eighteen like I mentioned before AND she was accompanied by her mother!! We get to the movie half an hour early, the man looks at our tickets and says we have to wait for the theatre to be ready. Again, fine we spend 30 minutes killing time around the mall. Then we go back to the movie, head in and are actually going to our seats when the tiny little man stops us and wants to see proof that Chelsea is over 16. We didn't bring her passport with us. I point out to the tiny little man that I am her mother and I am telling him she's over 16 but he is insistent so I tell him we need to talk to a manager. I argued with the manager for 10 minutes and pointed out to him that 1) if this same tiny little man had mentioned this problem the FIRST time he looked at our ticket (30 minutes ago) we could have gone home to get her passport, 2) that I am her mother and am the one responsible for her, 3) that the movie is actually rated PG-13 or 4) I'll never be giving this theatre my business again. None of these arguments made a bit of difference to the manager so we left after demanding a refund for not just the ticket but also the popcorn and coke we'd purchased, which he gave us. Then we went home, chose a different theatre, went there to a show that started an hour later and coincidentally they didn't even ASK for i.d. which of course we had brought with us this time.
One thing you have to realize about Singapore, in fact most Asian countries that I've visited, is that thinking for yourself is never a virtue here. Rules are made to be absolutely obeyed, circumstances (like the presence of a parent) are never considered, and no one has the ability to think critically or make a decision.
That is a "Singapore moment" and nights like this, where a person who is in a position of some authority and yet has absolutely no critical thinking skills or decision making ability manages to make your life just a little bit miserable are nights when I SO miss the U.S.A. Do you realize that in the U.S. people are taught to think for themselves and evaluate situations individually! I hope those of you who are there right now appreciate the next person who can listen to your situation and use intelligence and personal responsibility to respond appropriately!
Paul's Story
Sometimes God gives you something or someone in your life who is your greatest blessing and your greatest challenge all wrapped up into one. This is the story of Paul and what he means to our family.
In December of 1998 I had a miscarriage. That pregnancy wasn't planned and for a while I wasn't really sure I was ready for another baby, then at 7 weeks I miscarried and discovered how much I really had wanted that baby after all. Rick felt the same disappointment I did and we decided to go ahead and try again. I was delighted when I discovered in June that I was again expecting. I was 37 years old at the time and classified "high risk" because of problems during my previous pregnancies so my doctor did quite a bit of routine testing. However, she knew I was strongly pro-life and so we did not do AFP testing or amniocentesis since I wouldn't consider terminating my pregnancy under any circumstances.
In September of 1999 I went in for a routine ultrasound. Rick was away on business in Norway and I was excited to find out if my baby was going to be a boy or girl. The Lord was looking out for me that day because a good friend from church, Martha Frascella wanted to go with me into downtown Houston for the ultrasound. We drove in to the Texas Medical Center intending to have lunch and do some shopping after the ultrasound was finished. I remember how excited I was to find out the baby's sex. I went in for my ultrasound and Martha came in with me and about halfway through the procedure the technician wanted to move to a different room with a more high-resolution machine. (warning!! this is not a good sign) At that point the radiologist came in and finished the test and afterwards told me that it looked like my baby had a heart defect. He recommended I go to see a pediatric cardiologist. After I received a copy of my ultrasound report (I had to throw a fit to get it) Martha and I left and out in the car I started to cry. Martha is my most amazing sister in Christ. She worked with a crisis pregnancy center and knew a wonderful doctor from our church who also volunteered at the crisis pregnancy center (my own OB, Dr. Mary Alice Cowan, was out of town at a conference) She called Dr. Alan Moore from her cell-phone right there in my car and he, amazing man that he is, sat there and talked to me for about 40 minutes on the phone. When I told him what the radiologist had said he recommended that my first step be to get a level 2 ultrasound and began to name some doctors in Houston who do them. He mentioned Carolina Adam and I recognized her name from a level 2 ultrasound she'd done on me when I was pregnant with Stephen 8 years before. I called my OB's office and Dr. Cowan's nurse made an appointment for me to see Dr. Adam the very next day. Martha wanted to go in with me that day but I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and really wanted to be alone so I went in to see Dr. Adam the next day by myself. During the ultrasound she told me she was very worried about my baby and that it looked like he had a severe heart defect. When I asked her what caused it she said it could be a number of different things, genetic and infectious among them. I remember saying, "well, I guess I need to talk to Dr. Cowan about an amnio when she gets back" and Dr. Adam said that she did a lot of Dr. Cowan's amnios for her and we could do one right then if I wanted to. I did want to, I think I was holding on to the idea that my baby's heart defect was from an infection, that it might be treatable with antibiotics. In retrospect I realize that I was holding on to thin air but we went ahead and did the amnio right then. When I left her office I went straight to the airport to pick up Rick. He'd been unreachable during all this time as he was traveling in Norway and then home to Houston. When we got home I crawled into bed and started to cry and when Rick asked me what I wanted all I could think of to say was "I want my Daddy" . So Rick called my dad and asked him to come over, which he did. He sat by my bed and stroked my head and I was laying there watching the ultrasound on the video and all I could think to say was "he looks so normal, he looks so normal!" (Oh yeah, I had found out the baby was a boy)
The next few days were very hard. We spoke at length with our pastor, Bob Livesay about the possibility that our baby had Down Syndrome. Our friends and family were praying that everything would turn out to be fine, that some mistake on the part of the doctors had occurred, but in my heart I knew that our baby was not fine, and that something was wrong. Within the week we had the results of our amniocentesis. Our baby was definitely a boy and he definitely had Trisomy 21, the most common form of Down Syndrome. We picked up the pieces and decided it was time to move on. We made our first appointment with one of the most amazing women I've ever known. Her name is Nancy Ayers and she's a pediatric cardiologist at Texas Children's Hospital. She was and is Paul's cardiologist. We went in for the initial echocardiogram and Dr. Ayers mapped out Paul's heart defect for us. She was supportive and informative, she never asked me if I wanted to terminate my pregnancy. For her, Paul had as much right to every treatment possible as anyone. I really loved her for that! We saw Dr. Ayers every 3-4 weeks for an echocardiogram, to map the development of Paul's heart and his general condition. We also had several more level 2 ultrasounds with Dr. Adam. Dr. Adam asked me repeatedly if I would consider terminating my pregnancy and I could tell that my pro-life position was somewhat alien to her. I told her something that I believe with all my heart. I honestly believe that the best definition of abortion is the sacrifice of one person's life for another person's convenience. We, as Americans, are appalled that Adolf Hitler sent people to the gas chamber for being retarded, but here in the United States we kill them before they're born for the very same reason. (Okay, I know I'm getting preachy and off topic)
The rest of my pregnancy was stressful and anxious but nothing could match what was waiting for us at week 27. During Paul's level 2 ultrasound Dr. Adam told us that Paul's lungs weren't developing the way that they should and he had a condition called pulmonary hypoplasia. He also had a condition called fetal hydrops. What those two things meant was that because of the poor condition of his heart Paul had free fluid in other body cavities, the abdomen, around the heart and around the lungs. There was so much fluid in his lung cavity that the lungs weren't developing and at that point there was very little development of the left lung at all. On ultrasound his right lung looked sort of small and stumpy but his left lung was almost non-existent. It was like a little fist at the top and everything else was black, that was the fluid. We were told that Paul would almost certainly die and we could only expect him to live 24 to 48 hours after birth. At that point all I really wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. But...life goes on. I still had two older children 10 and 8. I'll never forget the day we told them about the baby having Down Syndrome, and then we had to tell them that he was probably going to die. People may wonder why I told them anything at all, why not wait and see what happened. I had many reasons for keeping them informed but the main one was simple. They could tell something was wrong. I'm not very good at hiding things, I'm a crappy liar and about as transparent as glass. It was pretty obvious that I was not your typical happy, excited pregnant lady!
At that point we stopped going to see Dr. Ayers, and we started to prepare for the worst while continuing to pray and hope for the best. I found a lot of solace in my church family and I spent a lot of time on the computer, I met some amazing prayer warriors via Crosswalk.com who listened to me pour out my heart and prayed for me. My friend Martha wrote me a letter that I treasure to this day. And our women's pastor Ann Livesay led me to some amazing Bible passages that I still rely on! Psalm 55: 4-6 My heart is in anguish within me, And the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror has overwhelmed me. I said, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest." Psalm 55:17 "Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice." I felt like all I ever did was whine and complain and that verse really consoled me. It told me that God understood and he didn't blame me for being so whiny, he would still listen to me. Psalm 55:22 "Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalm 119:73 "I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are righteous, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me" Nahum 1:7 " The Lord is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who take refuge in Him." There are so many I can't write them all here, but needless to say Ann was a huge help. During that time I read a book called "Disappointment With God" by Philip Yancey. It was such an inspiring book to me. It made me realize that God reveals himself through his people, and when I looked around at my church family, my husband and children and parents and my new internet prayer partners I could see Jesus revealed in all of them. We chose Paul's name during that time. I had listened to a sermon on the radio and told Rick and the kids about it at dinner that night. The upshot of the sermon was that no one comes to know Jesus without a witness. That everyone who knows Jesus needs to be told about him and about who he is. Even the apostle Paul who we think of as being struck on the road to Damascus had heard about Jesus and who he was. The pastor's theory was that Paul had heard the sermon of Stephen when he was martyred and therefore he had had a witness. His witness was Stephen. Well....our son Stephen really latched on to that idea. That Stephen had come first and that he was instrumental in winning Paul for Christ and from that moment on Stephen was adamant that the baby needed to be named Paul. So...he became Paul. There was never any other name for him after that.
My pregnancy was getting close to the end and Paul was really getting big. His weight was estimated at over 7 pounds when I was 35 weeks so we originally planned to induce labor at 37 weeks but Dr. Cowan felt like a C-section would be a better idea given the baby's size, prognosis and my own heart problem. (I'm not going into that here, but suffice to say my own cardiologist was involved at this point) Dr. Cowan decided to deliver Paul on January 27th because it was a Thursday and her regular day off. She wanted Paul to be her only concern that day. We had met with the chief of neonatology at TCH and the plan was to deliver Paul early in the morning with neo standing by. The week before Paul's due date our pastor stopped Rick on Wednesday night after AWANAS and asked him how we were doing. Rick's response was something along the lines of "well, it's almost over" and Bob was shocked. He had no idea that we'd had such a poor prognosis and that our baby was expected to die. He called us on Friday and asked if he could mention us during his sermon. He also said he wanted to give people in our church the opportunity to pray for us and his plan was to have us get up and go to the choir room at the end of the sermon so that anyone who wanted to pray for us could join us there. We agreed and Bob gave a beautiful and moving sermon that Sunday about faith through times of trial. During his sermon he invited anyone who liked to just get up at 10:30 and go to the choir room where Rick and I would be waiting. So...we got up and went to the choir room where more than 60 people from our congregation joined us. They surrounded us and put their hands on us and prayed for us for about 15 minutes. It was the most amazing experience. Once again you could feel the presence of God through his people. After everyone had left Rick and I were still sitting there and one woman stayed behind. She looked at me and told me that God had given her a word for me. Now, I'll be honest and tell you that I'm not usually a believer in people who have "a word" for you. But I nodded and waited and she said she wanted to pray again for my baby and then she would tell me what God was leading her to say. After she prayed she told me that this is what God had said to her "You have called his name Paul, but I have named him Asher for he is happy and it gave Me much happiness to form him. Whether he lives or dies, he will bring Me laughter all his days." I sat there after she said that mostly stunned. I think I said something like "God didn't say whether he would live or die" and she acknowledged that that was true, but that afternoon I went home and looked up the name Asher. It means happy and in some translations, laughter.
On Tuesday we did a final ultrasound to see if there was enough lung tissue present to make giving intranatal surfactant beneficial but there was absolutely no change in lung development. The left lung was still pretty much non-existent and things didn't look very good. That Thursday we went in to St. Luke's hospital in the Texas Medical Center and Paul was delivered by C-section. I was really stressed out by that time and we had an amazing crowd of friends and family at the hospital to pray for us. Dr. Cowan was talking to me as she did the C-section and I remember her saying, "okay Lorri, I'm about to take the baby out" then I heard this bellowing yell, and I (being the brilliant person I am) asked "Is that him?" (like, who else would it be?) They rushed Paul out to the hot-dog stand and Rick ran out after him, a few seconds later Rick ran back in to the delivery room and yelled "he's breathing" then he ran out again. About five second later he ran back in and said "and he's peeing all over the place!!!!". By then everyone was laughing and crying at the same time. Rick came back in and out a few more times but I was pretty much drifting in and out by then as Dr. Cowan performed my tubal ligation and stitched up my C-section. I do remember Dr. Adams (chief of neonatology at TCH) coming in to tell us that Paul was breathing independently and the x-ray had shown both lungs were fully inflated! He had evidently peed out most of the excess fluid. By now Rick had gone out to the waiting room to let our friends and families know what was going on. They took me back to the labor room and let Chelsea and Stephen come in. Then they brought Paul's incubator in and we all got to put our hands in and touch him. He was still in very serious condition, his heart defect was still present, but he was breathing on his own with blow-by oxygen. He weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces at birth and lost about a pound in the first hour (He peed a LOT! ) and he was so pretty. He actually had very big eyes and that perfect round C-section head with a lot of dark blonde hair. He actually had more hair and was a LOT bigger than either his brother or sister had been at birth. Dr. Adams came in and itemized all the things that showed Paul had Down Syndrome. Low muscle tone, legs and arms flopping outward from the body. A large space between the first two toes, simian crease on his feet (but not his hands) stubby fingers and on and on. I remember telling him that he didn't have to convince me I knew Paul had Down Syndrome. But you want to know something funny. At that point Paul's Down Syndrome was about as important to me as whether he had an inny or an outty. All we cared about was that he was alive. He was breathing. He's our miracle.
A lot of people have said something interesting. We've heard "I guess those doctors were wrong" or some variation thereof at least a hundred times. This is my response. They weren't wrong. I saw those ultrasounds, I saw the black space where Paul's left lung should have been. We pray and pray and ask God for miracles and then when he gives us one we want to explain it away! Paul's doctors weren't wrong. He's just been the recipient of a miracle. Paul does have Down Syndrome, he had open heart surgery when he was 7 months old. We've had a lot of close calls with Paul and I fully expect we'll have more but we've also been blessed with wonderful, gifted, talented and exceptional doctors and nurses during Paul's life. God has used them to care for Paul many times but ultimately Paul is in God's hands and God takes care of him and whether he lives or dies he will continue to bring God happiness every day of his life!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Introduction: April 19, 2008
I'm feeling inspired by Vicki Courtney and decided to start a blog. I'm an American expatriate (and no, that doesn't mean that I used to be patriotic) living in Singapore. I'm a Christian wife and mother who loves singing, Beth Moore, theatre, comedies, ballet, music, scrapbooking, reading, driving, and teenagers. I struggle with impatience, anger, resentment and insecurity. I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God, who came from Heaven to Earth to live a perfect life and die as a sacrifice for the sins of any who will accept His gift. I believe that all things in life work together for good for those who love Jesus and as the mother of a son with Down syndrome I can say unequivocally that God can and does bring victory out of defeat when we rely on Him.
I intend to use this blog to glorify God, encourage other Down syndrome moms, and brag on all three of my beautiful kids! I also hope to share a little bit about expat life and some of the privileges and challenges it offers. I hope those of you who end up reading this will enjoy the things you find here and that you will let me know when I succeed and when I fall short so that I can meet those goals!
I intend to use this blog to glorify God, encourage other Down syndrome moms, and brag on all three of my beautiful kids! I also hope to share a little bit about expat life and some of the privileges and challenges it offers. I hope those of you who end up reading this will enjoy the things you find here and that you will let me know when I succeed and when I fall short so that I can meet those goals!
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