It's four in the morning and I wish I had something profound to blog about but I simply don't. I'm very pleased with how well Stephen is recovering but there's simply no way to feel good when you're watching your child hurting.
When Paul was 18 months old he ended up in the Texas Children's ER. The story's too long to go into here but the main point of it is that he had to have an IV and he's an incredibly difficult kid to stick. The nurses at TCH stuck him a total of 13 times, trying to get his line in and at one point as we were waiting for yet another person to give it a try Rick and I were sitting in the room. The lights were out, it was the middle of the night and Rick had fallen asleep. I was sitting on the stretcher holding the baby and praying that whoever they were bringing THIS time would be able to get the IV in and I was crying. I remember looking up at the ceiling where they had put glow in the dark stars and I remember saying these words to God. "Do you know what it feels like to watch your child suffer" and I swear to you that I heard God say "DUH!".
Sometimes we (or more accurately I) lose track of what Jesus really did for us when He died on the cross. It wasn't a quick process and it had to have hurt his Father so much! I know that if I could take Stephen's place I'd do it in a heartbeat and that thought leads to another one. The reason Stephen is going through this right now is that we (and he) realize that he'd be in much worse shape later if he didn't take care of this back problem now. We didn't want him to have a limited future because of chronic back pain. God did the same thing...he realized that Jesus suffering was necessary to ensure a better future..in fact the ultimate future...for his children. The future He was saving goes on for all eternity!
Sometimes when I am sitting in this darkened hospital room watching my son hurting I realize that as much as I love Stephen it's a dark image of how God feels about His children. I read news stories and see pictures of parents crying over their suffering children throughout the world and I'm just awed by how huge our God is. To Him all those people are individuals, not photos. He knows the hearts of every single one of them! How huge is He! How completely beyond our ability to appreciate!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Fear Not, God Answers Prayers
Last time I wrote on this blog I talked a bit about the power of prayer. The past 2 weeks have done nothing but reinforce to me how amazingly powerful it is when God's people pray. Not long after I wrote the blog about spiritual warfare I began to feel real peace and the fear was essentially gone. Prayer Answered!
The night before Stephen's surgery he went to our church's Wednesday night prayer meeting with his father where the people who meet there weekly, and probably embody the description prayer warriors better than anyone I know, anointed him and prayed over and for him. His youth group met Wednesday night before his surgery and prayed for him, the choir prayed for him, my prayer partner and I prayed for him, his father and I prayed for him, in fact everyone I know was praying for him. We were praying that Dr. Weinberg would have steady hands, that everyone in the OR would be capable and focused and that everything would go smoothly.
Stephen went into surgery at 8 a.m. yesterday and surgery ended around 3 p.m. Before surgery we met with Dr. Weinberg who initialed Stephen's back (right patient, right site) and told us that his 1st assistant was going to be his boss and the chief of orthopedics (how's that for capable?). We also met the two anesthesiologists who would take care of him and the OR nurse. Prayer Answered!
Right now I'm sitting in room 1106 at Texas Children's Hospital and Stephen's sleeping peacefully. His surgery yesterday couldn't have gone more smoothly. I firmly believe that the care he's getting here can't be equalled. Last night his PCA (patient care assistant) was a young man named Darrell who's worked at TCH for 17 years and he was amazing in how he came in, explained everything he was doing to Stephen and turned him every 2 hours using perfect body alignment. Stephen stood at his bedside around 10 p.m. ( 7 hours after surgery ended) and had a night that was for the most part pain free. Prayer Answered!
*I don't know who invented the PCA Pump (patient controlled analgesia) but I firmly believe THAT'S the person who deserves a Nobel prize for contribution to humanity!
Just a few minutes ago Stephen got back into bed after walking about 100 feet down the hallway and then sitting up in a chair for 1 hour (<24 hours after surgery ended) and he's now sleeping peacefully with worship music playing in the background. Prayer Answered!
Last night I asked Stephen what his favorite verse in the Bible is and he said "well, lately it's been James 5:15" James 5:15 says "and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him." Interestingly, verse 16 was more familiar to me..."Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you my be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." I think I found my "cling to" verses for this hospitalization. The ones I write on the wall and remind myself of constantly.
But here's the interesting thing I notice in those verses, I think they're speaking of spiritual healing even more than of physical healing. The first priority that the verses give are to the forgiveness of sin, they are essentially identifying sin as the essence of sickness because both verses talk specifically about sin in connection with healing. While Stephen and I are praying for physical wellness in many ways the spiritual darkness I felt before the surgery was harder for me. I'm probably the last person in the world who would be a big quoter of FDR but I think he was right on target when he said during his first inaugural address that "the only thing to fear is fear itself". I mean think about how many times in the Bible God uses the words "fear not"! I did a search of the phrase "fear not" and I found out that the specific phrase "fear not" is used more than 400 times (I swear that He said it to Joshua at least 50 of them and Joshua's kinda known for his courage!) so obviously fear has always been an issue. It really is the place where our enemy likes to try to get to us and it's the place where so many of us, especially myself, are gotten to! So...as I prepare to close this somewhat disjointed blog for today all I can think of to say is Fear not, because God answers prayers!!!!
The night before Stephen's surgery he went to our church's Wednesday night prayer meeting with his father where the people who meet there weekly, and probably embody the description prayer warriors better than anyone I know, anointed him and prayed over and for him. His youth group met Wednesday night before his surgery and prayed for him, the choir prayed for him, my prayer partner and I prayed for him, his father and I prayed for him, in fact everyone I know was praying for him. We were praying that Dr. Weinberg would have steady hands, that everyone in the OR would be capable and focused and that everything would go smoothly.
Stephen went into surgery at 8 a.m. yesterday and surgery ended around 3 p.m. Before surgery we met with Dr. Weinberg who initialed Stephen's back (right patient, right site) and told us that his 1st assistant was going to be his boss and the chief of orthopedics (how's that for capable?). We also met the two anesthesiologists who would take care of him and the OR nurse. Prayer Answered!
Right now I'm sitting in room 1106 at Texas Children's Hospital and Stephen's sleeping peacefully. His surgery yesterday couldn't have gone more smoothly. I firmly believe that the care he's getting here can't be equalled. Last night his PCA (patient care assistant) was a young man named Darrell who's worked at TCH for 17 years and he was amazing in how he came in, explained everything he was doing to Stephen and turned him every 2 hours using perfect body alignment. Stephen stood at his bedside around 10 p.m. ( 7 hours after surgery ended) and had a night that was for the most part pain free. Prayer Answered!
*I don't know who invented the PCA Pump (patient controlled analgesia) but I firmly believe THAT'S the person who deserves a Nobel prize for contribution to humanity!
Just a few minutes ago Stephen got back into bed after walking about 100 feet down the hallway and then sitting up in a chair for 1 hour (<24 hours after surgery ended) and he's now sleeping peacefully with worship music playing in the background. Prayer Answered!
Last night I asked Stephen what his favorite verse in the Bible is and he said "well, lately it's been James 5:15" James 5:15 says "and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him." Interestingly, verse 16 was more familiar to me..."Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you my be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." I think I found my "cling to" verses for this hospitalization. The ones I write on the wall and remind myself of constantly.
But here's the interesting thing I notice in those verses, I think they're speaking of spiritual healing even more than of physical healing. The first priority that the verses give are to the forgiveness of sin, they are essentially identifying sin as the essence of sickness because both verses talk specifically about sin in connection with healing. While Stephen and I are praying for physical wellness in many ways the spiritual darkness I felt before the surgery was harder for me. I'm probably the last person in the world who would be a big quoter of FDR but I think he was right on target when he said during his first inaugural address that "the only thing to fear is fear itself". I mean think about how many times in the Bible God uses the words "fear not"! I did a search of the phrase "fear not" and I found out that the specific phrase "fear not" is used more than 400 times (I swear that He said it to Joshua at least 50 of them and Joshua's kinda known for his courage!) so obviously fear has always been an issue. It really is the place where our enemy likes to try to get to us and it's the place where so many of us, especially myself, are gotten to! So...as I prepare to close this somewhat disjointed blog for today all I can think of to say is Fear not, because God answers prayers!!!!
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